55.2 - The Butterfly Effect (Alycia and Summer)

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21

Alycia blinks at the sudden shift. Leza’s balls – I forgot how slick the Newmans are at rhetoric judo. Suddenly I’m supposed to talk about Jason? Why --?

Stop. What’s going on here? Don’t react. Analyze.

Time slows down around her as her brain spins up. She can’t move through the room, but it’s visual space to work in. I don’t know that I can think faster than Summer, I don’t know enough about her processing speed or how it processes (and steps down) to human thoughts, human soul, but I can think faster than she thinks I can, so …

Does she still want Jason? 73.2% yes, but with a wide error range.

_How do I feel about that? _Percentages fail me.

She’s being straightforward, interested, willing to help? 89.3% That may be pessimistic.

She’s doing it for him, to make him happy? 45.6%.

How do I feel about th-- Whatever.

Net: I think she’s straightforward about that_. Which means her evasiveness is around a boyfriend / date / mate. _

She’s frightened of the prospect? She thinks herself unworthy? She’s afraid of whom I might find? She’s actually wanting a girlfriend but thinks I would disapprove? She’s not interested, despite all signs to the contrary?

_Too many variables. But I think that’s where this is centered. _

Do I force the issue? Find a guy who’s worthy of her someone whose company she can enjoy? Or do I back off?

Am I a friend proactively, or do I let my own uncertainty and doubt about myself get in the way?

Alycia smiles. “It’s … going along. We have a lot of history, a lot of it not involving pointing weapons at each other. I … like him. He likes me. He just wants things to go faster than I feel comfortable about. And, yeah, I’m not sure how to balance school and heroing and dating someone who’s got a world presence, and give the full attention to each they deserve.”

And he knows too much about me, and he doesn’t seem to mind, and I don’t know how I feel about that, and –

“And he’s nice, and fun, and everything should be great, even if he keeps humming tunes for Les Miz, even though I have strong ideological and aesthetic objections to that show.”

And is it me, that I’m just afraid to commit? Or that I don’t think I’m worthy of the Great Jason Quill? Or is it that it’s hard shifting from a relationship, such as it is, based in brief, high-adrenaline danger, to one that involves what movie to go out to after what restaurant to eat at?

Damn. She shifted me back to introspective.

“So, yeah, things are going along okay, not that there’s anything you can help with because there’s nothing that needs help right now.” Unless you ask Jason. Quick, shift the rhetorical ground! “And, yes, of course you have veto over anyone I ferret out as date fodder. This isn’t an arranged wedding, for Hera’s sake. Just … maybe something I can do for you.”

author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6858975

22

Summer listens intently, nodding from time to time, but not too much.

At “there’s nothing that needs help”, she relaxes visibly, and smiles again.

“Okay. That’s good. And… I know you two sort of, I guess were maybe rivals or something, from the sound of it. Not really enemies, I think… supposed to be enemies, if your dads had their ways. Sorry, getting off that. But, you’re also dating. Just… don’t answer this question, just hold it in your mind, and come back to me sometime if you feel you need to talk more about it. But is Jason also your friend?”

She lets out a sigh. There’s been some crying, some hugging, some fluttering hearts and fear, and she should feel exhausted, but somehow it feels like things are better than ever. Except for this dating business. What got it into her head that finding a boy was how she should help me?

“Okay, so… this dating thing is something you can do for me, and I’m grateful that this is how you want to help. I just…the things I said earlier, they’re kinda, y’know, true too.” She shrugs and wobbles her head uncertainly, making the statement halfway into a question. “Like you say, maybe sometimes something can go too fast. And for real, I am worried about being outed. Like if a guy grabs my…”

Geez, there’s a huge can of worms cracking open here, stuff I’d feel mortified talking with her about, but how do I get her to understand?

She finishes lamely. “… my attention, I mean, that’s great, but anyway, bad things could still happen despite best intentions. You know?”

author: Bill G.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6859005

23

Alycia nods, her face serious, her mind continuing to race. Wait, did she just - is she not physically compatible? That’s her worry here? Why would Leo – no, wait, do I know how this body was built? I know it has something at its core that Jason put together, but the current exterior, was that … Aria, maybe? I haven’t kept track, which is either very polite or very rude, but an appalling lack of intel. But I’d be shocked to discover that she wasn’t set up to provide at least reasonable primary and secondary sex characteristics. I mean, I assume Aria is, unless that relationship is even odder than it seems –

Or maybe it’s just a texture thing – a date groping at her, maybe even holding her hand, realizing she’s not a flesh-human. Okay, that’s not an improvement on ‘meat-person’. Need to come up with a better term for that which doesn’t sound like a euphemism, either.

Focus. Summer. Is it just about being outed and having her secret identity spilled, or outed and being rejected, or simply having limitations in how she can perform? And am I pushing this way too hard and making her uncomfortable, because that is, of course, my super-power.

Dammit.

She puts a smile on her face to reassure. “No, I know. And I know your secret identity is important to you – both regarding your being a super-hero and your being … non-organic.” Something flickers in her expression. “I understand about wanting to hide things, right? And that makes things more difficult, but it also doesn’t mean you have to cut yourself off from that part of being a person, or even that you should.”

But, if I’m honest with myself, if I didn’t have the obvious connection with Jason to be dating him, would I be going out and finding another boyfriend? Would I be truthful with him about everything? Hell, there’s stuff even Jason doesn’t know – and I don’t know that he ever will, no matter what happens. Is that why I’m drawn to him, though, because he’s safe about at least some of my secrets, so I don’t have to make those decisions? Is that the foundation of a lasting relationship? She asks if he’s my friend – the question is, is he actually anything more than that? Am I trying to making him more, just because it’s easier?

Tài gāisǐ de fùzá. Focus on Summer. Above all else, I don’t want to be a hypocrite to her, even if I am to myself sometimes.

(Wait, can I actually be a hypocrite to myself? Without a dissociative identity disorder? Tag that for later.)

“How’s this – I won’t make this an active campaign, but a passive one. If I spot a reasonable target, I’ll identify him for you and we can discuss both him and where you are. Is that a bit less … worrisome?”

author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6859964

24

Summer thinks that over for a few moments, and finally nods.

"I… I didn’t think there could be anyone but Leo, until Jason… " She waves that thought away.

“Well, the point is, there’s a very small pool of people who I thought would be comfortable with me. And hoping I could care for anyone else, that it’d work out, was another of those silly dreams. Dreams need a heavy dose of real work and effort to make happen, but I won’t give up on this one either, like you asked. And I’m glad that I have you along with me for this one.”

She smiles in relief. “Thank you, Alycia. And I want to be that kind of supportive friend for you two as well.”

author: Bill G.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6860429

25

“I don’t think you know how to be any other kind. And thank you for --” She pauses to frame it in a non-apologetic fashion. “-- for trusting me enough to open up to me.” She gestures at her mobile. “I don’t think you know how … special that is to me. And --”

If I start going on in an encouraging way about love springing up in unexpected and challenging places, I deserve to be slugged. So I won’t. But if she found two cases, there’s nothing to say there aren’t more – or that different eyes might not help her spot them. So shut up and change the subject and see if we can end this conversation without running. Again.

“So if I’ve helped with that, maybe we can brainstorm some more costume ideas. I’m sure there’s something a bit whimsical and magic we can include in any design. Maybe squirrels instead of butterflies – no, wait, that’s been done. Sea horses? Hummingbirds? Dragons? Unicorns? Ponies? I mean, it doesn’t have to be all about that, just, maybe a partial insignia, or some element of the design …”

author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6860786

26

I really like the idea of sneaking away, and letting them keep talking about this stuff. With occasional recurring themes, and Summer’s taste crossed with Alycia’s erudition. “Oh, that animal is good.” “Its Persian name means Devotion…” “Oh, perfect!” “And it’s a fertility symbol throughout Asia.” “…”

So jump back in as time passes if you have more, but I thought this was excellent.

author: Bill G.
url: Community Forums: 55.2 - The Butterfly Effect (Alycia and Summer) | Roll20: Online virtual tabletop

27

A note on passing: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6141573/

Summer can pass visual and tactile inspection for long periods. She can interact closely with friends and not excite suspicion. She could probably kiss someone and not alert them. Any level of intimacy past that requires lots of trust from her anyway, and won’t appear on screen, so she should be okay for a boyfriend!

author: Bill G.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6861412

28

Yeah, I definitely saw this as a fade-to-black moment.

Alycia’s ignorance / suspicion / confusion as to Summer’s “fully functional” capabilities were sort of intentional and I hope appropriately oblique. What was more important to me was Summer’s clear discomfort with the whole subject. which adds to both Alycia’s clinical considerations and her emotional squirminess on the subject.

I’ve no idea if this will lead to anything for Summer. Alycia’s criteria for her will probably be even higher than she would have. But who knows what might happen?

That said. Alycia leaves this encounter feeling much better than she entered it. Hopefully Summer, too. And I like the idea of some magic-whimsical that Alycia has some role in creating.

author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6861490

29

*** Dave H. said:

Alycia’s ignorance / suspicion / confusion as to Summer’s “fully functional” capabilities were sort of intentional and I hope appropriately oblique. What was more important to me was Summer’s clear discomfort with the whole subject. which adds to both Alycia’s clinical considerations and her emotional squirminess on the subject.

That said. Alycia leaves this encounter feeling much better than she entered it. Hopefully Summer, too. And I like the idea of some magic-whimsical that Alycia has some role in creating.

It was oblique and vague and a neat echo of Alycia’s earlier “I gotta disassemble her sometime” thought. :slight_smile: I dropped the note in because Alycia would know (from what contact she’s had) how easily Summer can already pass, and in case anyone was curious.

Summer’s doing quite a bit better. She got her friend to open up a little more, the metaphysical science experiment is still on, Alycia’s cooperating with the costume work, she knows that Jalycia is going well enough - all victories as far as she’s concerned.

author: Bill G.
url: Community Forums: 55.2 - The Butterfly Effect (Alycia and Summer) | Roll20: Online virtual tabletop

30

Yeah, I tried to address the “Alycia has had awkward hugs and emotional hand-holds with Summer, so she should know if she passes” with her questioning over whether her knowledge of what Summer is has influenced her evaluation of to what extent she can pass as a meat-person.

(I leave it solely up to the Player the extent to which Summer is, in Data’s turn of phrase, “fully functional.” Any of the variants on that question are interesting and plot-provoking in their own right, including Summer’s ability to actually address the problem to the extent she feels it needs addressing.)

Actually, this thread gave me a breakthrough for the Alycia’s Tale of Issue 55, with which I was seriously struggling. So, with luck, it might actually get written before Monday. :slight_smile:

Another thing that kind of came to mind in this as it got toward the end: for all that Alycia is a fiercely independent and iconoclastic thinker, she is very sensitive and compliant toward properly framed emotional appeals and influences and manipulations and arguments. Whether that is a heritage of her upbringing and conditioning by Achilles Chin, or a reflection of her Player, I leave as an exercise for the student.

author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6861637