# Incorrect Megalos Quotes
**URL:** https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236
**Category:** MEGALOS
**Tags:** meme
**Created:** [November 16, 2023, 11:46pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236 "2023-11-16T23:46:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@fragolakat](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/fragolakat)
#### Post date: [November 16, 2023, 11:58pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/21 "2023-11-16T23:58:14Z")
**Crew as Onion headlines:**
Professor Magnus: Wise, Thoughtful Elder Won’t Put A Sock In It
Xeric: Man Reaches First Of Dozens Of Breaking Points To Come
Auoy: Enby Embraces Holiday Spirit By Telling Strangers They Don’t Speak To Their Family
Carabas: Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair
Carabas: Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day
Seirus: I Love My Country - Aw, Who Am I Kidding? My Country Can Go Fuck Itself
Crew: Local Dumbasses Knew What They Were Getting Themselves Into and Did It Anyways
---
### Author:  [@insomn14](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/insomn14)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 2:55am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/22 "2023-11-17T02:55:08Z")
This one was so in character I had to give it the highest honor possible.
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 3:53am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/23 "2023-11-17T03:53:35Z")
Carabas: I haven’t been an assassin in a long time
Xeric: prove it
Carabas: you know that obnoxious otter woman who accosts me every single day with small talk about her garden?
Xeric: Mrs. Glaswungle?
Carabas: is she still alive?
Xeric: yeah
Carabas: I rest my case
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 7:10am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/24 "2023-11-17T07:10:11Z")
Carabas: if I was drowning, would you throw me a rope?
Seirus: I’d have used up all the rope tying you to an anchor
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 4:00pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/25 "2023-11-17T16:00:24Z")
Xeric: are you a healer because you cherish life and want to end suffering?
Auoy: nope, blood is my hobby
---
### Author:  [@Dave](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/Dave)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 7:30pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/26 "2023-11-17T19:30:18Z")
> [@fragolakat](#):
>
> Seirus: I need life advice.
> Xeric, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the wrong person.
Seirus: I need life advice.
Carabas, stabbing a killer robot with his sword: You came to the wrong person.
Carabas, stabbing another killer robot with his sword: And your timing sucks.
---
### Author:  [@Dave](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/Dave)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 7:33pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/27 "2023-11-17T19:33:29Z")
> [@fragolakat](#):
>
> Carabas: Well, aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice?
> Seirus: Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything… uh…
> Carabas: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense and I’ll stop acting like an asshole.
(Later)
Carabas (handing out care bundles at the local orphanage): Stupid archaic Loethia.
---
### Author:  [@fragolakat](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/fragolakat)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 7:44pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/28 "2023-11-17T19:44:49Z")
> [@fragolakat](#):
>
> Auoy: You know archaic Loethia?
> Seirus: Yeah I got bored with old Kilmerane.
> A: You know Kilmerane?
> S: Yeah someone from my baking club taught me.
> A: YOU HAVE A BAKING CLUB?
> S: You don’t know everything about me Landdweller. Now, do you want cookies or brownies?
>
> (Homework is on page 280)
I’M A FOOL! I missed the obvious joke
Auoy: You know archaic Loethia?
Seirus: Yeah I got bored with old Kilmerane.
A: You know Kilmerane?
S: Yeah someone from my underwater basket weaving club taught me.
A: YOU HAVE AN UNDERWATER BASKET WEAVING CLUB?
S: You don’t know everything about me Landdweller. Now, would you like a basket?
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 17, 2023, 8:38pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/29 "2023-11-17T20:38:06Z")
Seirus: if I see any enemies, I’ll draw their attention and lure them into water
Xeric: that’s right, cause you’re our fish tank
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2023, 1:09am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/30 "2023-11-21T01:09:11Z")
Xeric: gonna eat Thanksgiving dinner with us?
Carabas: yeah, sit down and get a plate
Auoy: I don’t remove my mask in the presence of strangers
Seirus: you know us!
Auoy: I do and you’re all very strange
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 21, 2023, 6:27am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/31 "2023-11-21T06:27:47Z")
Carabas: this?
Auoy: turkey, extremely rare
Carabas: these?
Auoy: blood sausages
Carabas: those?
Auoy: blood berries
Carabas: maybe I’ll just have a cocktail
Auoy: I’ll mix a Bloody Mary
Carabas: fine, fine, I apologize for asking you to help cook
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [November 30, 2023, 1:32pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/32 "2023-11-30T13:32:25Z")
Xeric: I’m gonna kill that monster!
Seirus: you can’t
Xeric: where do you get off ordering me around? You’re not my mom and dad, I do what I want
Seirus: no, I mean, you literally can’t kill it, it’s one of the immortal Tash-Klarkon Inevitables
Xeric: oh
Xeric: can I stab it anyway?
Seirus: sure, go ahead
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 13, 2023, 3:11pm UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/33 "2023-12-13T15:11:42Z")
Carabas: is that tuna I smell?
Seirus: it’s an obvious trap, don’t—
(Clang)
Carabas, being hauled off by Imperial soldiers: hey, I wasn’t finished with that!
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 15, 2023, 7:04am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/34 "2023-12-15T07:04:49Z")
Imperial Warleader: soon, you lot will taste death!
Seirus: you’ll have to force feed it to us and that won’t be easy
Xeric: death will have a taste of me
Carabas: listen, I have a food allergy, can I get a substitute?
Auoy: I have death on my grocery delivery speed dial, good luck
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2023, 6:44am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/35 "2023-12-20T06:44:31Z")
Xeric: Gwin thinks I’m hot
Carabas: she said you’re not cool, it’s not the same thing
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 20, 2023, 6:47am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/36 "2023-12-20T06:47:24Z")
Seirus: I enjoy digging up interesting relics of the past
Auoy: I like putting Imperials in the ground
Seirus: the archaeologists of the future are grateful for your service
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2023, 12:17am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/37 "2023-12-29T00:17:33Z")
Xeric: what happens if you dig up something totally worthless?
Seirus: I re-bury it with a note reading “whoever reads this has unleashed the Curse”
* * *
Auoy: do you know why I never heal you?
Xeric: it’s because the pain of my soul eclipses any suffering of the flesh
Auoy: it’s because you talk like that
* * *
Carabas: you guys overestimate my vices and flaws, I’m not as bad as all that
Seirus: the statue that was judging our souls reached you and said it had to call its manager
* * *
Carabas: tell me, what is the difference between the most beautiful gem in the world, and the merest dross of man’s fancies? What does it mean for something to be truly worthwhile?
Xeric: I don’t know?
Carabas: see this is why I don’t trust you to divvy up loot any more
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2023, 12:42am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/38 "2023-12-29T00:42:54Z")
Carabas: what are you doing?
Auoy: it’s abstract art
Seirus: I don’t know if I follow the aesthetic
Xeric: yeah this seems pointless
(A bunch of exsanguinated soldiers fall over in a precise pattern)
Auoy: not a masterpiece, but I feel like I’m making progress!
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2023, 12:52am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/39 "2023-12-29T00:52:27Z")
Seirus: this is the Mirror of Desire. It was made by the Chaos-Master, a notable wizard from the Entelenchic Era
Seirus: it will show you your deepest, darkest heart’s desire
Xeric: (staring) I see a skrunkly little gnome
Seirus: it started life as a fun-house mirror
* * *
Barry: I bet 250 libra I can drink you lot under the table
Carabas: you’re on
(later)
Barry: (from under the table) how… are you still… sitting…?
Carabas: I tied myself to the chair
* * *
Carabas: my phantasms are amazing - they can stretch out my influence across the battlefield
Seirus: and they don’t talk at all
Auoy: that is quite an amazing feature
Carabas: hey!
* * *
Xeric: I’m trying to cheer up Gwin after I messed up talking to her again
Xeric: what do you she’d like that I could get?
Auoy: lost
---
### Author:  [@garrett](https://forum.menagerie.team/u/garrett)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2023, 1:02am UTC](https://forum.menagerie.team/t/incorrect-megalos-quotes/1236/40 "2023-12-29T01:02:47Z")
Captain Kavo: I am not one of your aarons! I am a Captain of the Empire!
The Professor: oh I know you’re not one of the aarons
Captain Kavo: then why did you dress me like one?
The Professor: we’re going on some… errands
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