Teacher: today’s field trip is the Halcyon City Museum!
Roddy: oh, uh, I came down with a bad case of… (checks phone) aplastic anaemia
Teacher: that sounds serious
Roddy: yeah, every since yesterday I’ve had… (checks phone again, more googling) shortness of breath, high temperature, and fainting spells
Teacher: you should stay home
Rest of the team: 
Roddy: 
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Joe: It costs $400 to see a therapist
Joe: But it’s free to tell yourself “it be like that sometimes”
Dr. Anton: What? No-
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Kiln: I’m from a time thousands of years before yours
Alex: I’m sure Chris wouldn’t mind you being a little unfamiliar–
Kiln: but what of your rule, “half your age plus seven”?
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Joey: (thinking) I can’t stop thinking about the most beautiful person in our class
Mette: (thinking) I can’t stop thinking about the most beautiful person in our class
Evan: (thinking) I can’t stop thinking about how I’m the most beautiful person in our class
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Aliud: in fiction, robots may be bound by rules, such as Asimov’s three laws. Are human beings similarly bound?
Problem Child: nah. If you break a human rule, they just beat you down until you learn to stop doing that.
Aliud: would it be better if humans were programmed to know how to act?
Problem Child: that assumes the programmer knows the best way to act, don’t it
Aliud: that is a quandary
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Roddy: Even in Halcyon we have a homeless problem.
Joey: I’ve traveled to some third world countries. That kinda poverty’s even worse there.
Mette: On the ship, there was more than enough work for everyone, and sufficient rations.
Kiln: In my day, beggars bore the ceremonial names, “Alton and Agatha.”
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Roy: Man, I’m not sure about Joey being a hero. He’s got some dark secrets.
Hailey: I’m afraid all that internalized trauma may make him unstable.
Evan: He looks all cute on the outside, but it’s hardly surprising something more monstrous lurks within.
Alex: There’s more projection going on here than in the entire A/V Club.
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This one is pure gold.
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Kiln: Magitech comes from the past … its power is profound.
Joey: Magitech exists in the presence … its power is … transformative.
Mette: Magitech extends into the future … its power is … um … stellar.
Alex (facepalming): Look, if we’re going to sell this stuff on QVC, you people need to step up your game.
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Roddy: cracking the firewall in 10 seconds.
Mette: recollimating the holographics…
Kiln: realigning the crystals…
Joey: (mimicking typing) I’m in. Now to download an actual life.
Alex: Just because you fuckers asked who has the best bod, I heard “baud” - an easy mistake - and said US Robotics…
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Evan: Well, I’m certainly glad we chose not to go on that dreary field trip.
Paul: In a stuffy, boring museum we’ve all been to a dozen times.
Anna: Even worse, they have to put up with Fryth!
Derek: We chose … wisely.
Jillian: (running up) Hey, did you hear? Metavillain attack at the City Museum!
Others: DAMMIT!
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[Was too amused by this idea that I couldn’t not.]
<Aliud at the museum (and most days). Then Roddy tackled them.>
Aliud: Classmate Reynolds, that was unnecessary. My core is titanium reinforced.
Sync: That doesn’t mean I could let you get crushed.
Aliud: This data will need further processing.
Aliud: Classmate Reynolds, have you noticed my new attire.
Roddy: (not really paying attention) Yeah sure, Aliud.
Aliud: It was chosen based on your reaction to Classmate DuQuesne’s attire.
Aliud: Yeah, she has good taste. (finally pays attention) Cute dress. I need to get to my next class, bye.
<Aliud reacts.>
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How did Alex lead anyone on? 
Didn’t Chris hit on you and you turn her down?
Evan: I sense a kindred spirit in you.
Alex: A what now?
Evan, slinging an arm around Alex: I too have had to turn down women after leading them on a merry chase. We are the same, you and I.
Alex, furiously thinking: I did What?
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Alex: Okay, first of all, I didn’t make her cry. She just kind of smiled and wandered off.
Alex: Second of all, I didn’t lead her on. She came over to me, I didn’t do or say anything.
Alex: Third, she’s a total sweetheart and I wish her well, I don’t dislike her, I’m just not what she needs right now
(Overprotective demon dads glance at each other and grumble)
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Roddy: I saved Aliud from being severely scuffed!
Mette: I saved Aliud from his path toward being a Monster!
Joey: I saved Mette from a plasma ball!
Kiln: I saved Gothwitch from a crumbling wall!
Alex: I saved 5Gb off my data plan by hacking into the museum WiFi when we walked in the door!
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Roddy: Alex isn’t an idiot, they just lack common sense.
Roddy: Like, they can hack their way into any system easy as pie.
Roddy: But you can bet that they’re doing the Tide Pod challenge.
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Kiln: You know, I think this whole field trip has really made me grow as a person.
Alex, from the back: Not vertically it hasn’t!
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