Aliud: what gesture or action would be construed as romantic?
(individual answers follow)
Roy: just follow them around, they’ll see how dedicated you are!
Aliud: I shall modify my pathfinding algorithm accordingly
Kid Kool: when you’re cool, everyone wants to come to you!
Aliud: I underestimated the importance of refrigeration. Perhaps this ties into Chris’s culinary instruction, and chilled foods are superior
Problem Child: don’t look to me for that kind of advice
Aliud: (turning around, facing away) what gesture or action would be construed as romantic?
Vic: if only I knew, I’d tell you
Aliud: I shall share my eventual findings
Hunter: just act like they’re already interested in you, you don’t have to ask
Aliud: I lack data on my own behavior when someone is interested
Hunter: well you’re outta luck
Aliud: Correlation. Acting is key. Acting is taught in theater. A theater tradition is to say “break a leg” to wish one good luck. I shall find a means by which I can break one leg. Secondary hypothesis. Breaking both legs will double my luck
Nono: um, I think it’s best if you just naturally bump into someone and you feel an attraction, and then you keep finding yourselves running into each other
Aliud: mutual collision is not optimal pathfinding behavior, but I will continue to tune my algorithm
Emma: I dunno, just grab 'em and kiss 'em
Aliud: this is the key to romantic success?
Aliud: I shall study grappling and wrestling techniques. Once I am sure of the first part, I shall study kissing to ensure success at the second
Gothwitch: (long sigh) romance is dead
Aliud: Resuscitation is indicated then? Broken legs also call for medical attention. I should request training in first aid
Poly-Anna: I’d just turn into whoever they wanted most and seduce them
Aliud: a physical remodel of my exterior is a non-trivial effort but I am prepared for it.
Evan: be me. Everyone wants me.
Aliud: this is factually inaccurate. Of the home room members, there are at least–
Evan: (hand over mouth) shush. Don’t spoil the magic.
Seven-Year: nobody could ever want me, so I can’t help you.
Seven-Year: because I’m a visual freak
Aliud: please do not disparage your own appearance. Your LIDAR and sonar silhouettes are not affected by your invisibility
Chris: Cooking, I guess, but I don’t know. I think it really depends on who you want to attract
Aliud: are there individuals who do not consume calories?
Chris: uh, probably just you
Jillian: just be popular
Aliud: how do I become popular?
Jillian: style, panache, uniqueness. Be an individual.
Aliud: how do I be an individual?
Jillian: I’ve written an Instagram Influencer’s guide with step by step instructions
Hailey: don’t ask me about any kind of love, I don’t want any part of it
Aliud: may I ask what you would do if someone expressed romantic interest in you?
Hailey: probably freak out
Aliud: very well. I will endeavor not to collide with you, cook for you, or grapple you
Hailey: uh. Thanks