Incorrect Quotes

Ms. Crowe: it is important that your use of powers be not only effective, but beautiful
(a slideshow starts playing on the projector)
Ms. Crowe: Here we see Ms. Drake using her sword to trace intricate lines in the air, using the hellfire aura it emits to create an aesthetically pleasing visual spectacle
Kiln: (whispering) is that true?
Chris: (whispering) I was trying to kill a mosquito

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Teacher: is there a secret about the school you’re willing to share?
Hellbinder: well, Dr. Fryth actually comes from a parallel reality whose history was very different from ours
Teacher: anyone I should avoid telling?
Hellbinder: don’t tell Dr. Fryth, he hasn’t figured it out yet and I want to see the look on his face when he does

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Fryth: Furthermore, while I respect Ms Arizella as a colleague, her conceit that she comes from Atlantis is patently absurd. Atlantis was destroyed, with all its inhabitants, in 847 BCE.
Joey: You can’t possibly know that.
Fryth: You children these days aren’t the only ones with high tech gadgetry. A friend of mine invented a time machine just after we were out of graduate school. I went back, saw the lost continent’s destruction, and then went back ten years earlier to see Atlantis at the peak of its glory. Such a loss.
Mette: Time travel to the past is very tricky. Were all quantum alignment fields fully charged?
Kiln: Did you do star chart confirmation as to time and place?
Roddy: Was Dr. Infinity there, frowning at you?
Alex: Did you step on any butterflies when you were back the extra ten years?
Fryth: Of course, certainly, don’t be ridiculous, and definitely not. I only swatted a mosquito and, well, damnation.

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Fryth: Well, that does explain how my friend was sporting such a luxurious moustache after I returned in a few hours.
Roddy: Good first clue.
Fryth: So … none of the history I studied still exists?
Mette: An object lesson, I’m afraid.
Fryth: And … none of the history I taught?
Kiln: It explains a few things.
Fryth: No Napoleon at Knightsbridge? No Treaty of Tanganyika? No destruction of the Washington Monument by the Fiendish Dr. Chin?
Joey: Who?
Fryth: Then … what should I do with my academic career?
Alex: Have you considered teaching alt-history creative writing?

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Alex: the Trump administration has a job for you

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Kiln: You’re smiling. Did something good happen?
Joey: Can’t I smile because I feel like it?
Alex: Evan tripped and fell in front of Mette.

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Hailey: how does it feel sitting in front of Alex?
Chris: like they’re bored but paying attention anyway, it’s weird
Hailey: how does it feel sitting behind Allan?
Chris: his partial invisibility is weird, but at least he doesn’t block my view of the board

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Nono: you look grumpy
Emma: some moron hit on me earlier
Nono: what did you do?
Emma: gave them true lava’s kiss

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Alex: why are you still smiling? Evan tripping was yesterday
Joey: because he missed the best cool line of all time! “Looks like I’m falling for you!”

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Evan, overhearing the conversation: Maybe that’s just cause I’ve fallen for someone else :slight_smile:
Joey, breaths sigh of relief for Mette:
Evan: Say Joey, you look quite handsome when you smile. If you aren’t careful you might activate something… primal :wink:
Joey, backs away slowly: :zipper_mouth_face:

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Chris: Listen closely. What I’m about to tell you is the key to cooking. The golden rule.
Chris: Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to put in. You measure that with the goodness of your heart.
Aliud and Kiln taking notes:
Aliud, raises hand tentatively: Aren’t we making ramen?

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Hailey: Why are you learning how to cook. Aren’t you an android?
Aliud: It is a way to promote social bonding with classmates.
Aliud: And classmate Jillian suggested that making some sort of “baked good” is a way to increase romantic feelings.
Nono: :eyes:

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Aliud: the idiom I have learned is “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”
Emma: actually it’s through the rib cage, but you need good aim–
Nono: Not. Helping.

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Alycia: (popping head in from the side of the frame) Actually, it is through the stomach if you’re trying to go under the ribcage like a professional –
Nono: NOT. HELPING!

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Not an incorrect quote, but when are we going to see more of the Roddy-Gothwitch-Aliud ship?

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Hailey: So, did your baked goods work?
Aliud: Unfortunately no. I’m afraid I need more experience.
Hailey: What went wrong?
Aliud: Apparently Chris is an outlier among human in liking chocolate chips with her ramen.
Hailey: … oh no

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I am now imagining shenanigans of various classmates all offering awful romance advice and hilarity ensuing.

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Aliud: what gesture or action would be construed as romantic?
(individual answers follow)


Roy: just follow them around, they’ll see how dedicated you are!
Aliud: I shall modify my pathfinding algorithm accordingly


Kid Kool: when you’re cool, everyone wants to come to you!
Aliud: I underestimated the importance of refrigeration. Perhaps this ties into Chris’s culinary instruction, and chilled foods are superior


Problem Child: don’t look to me for that kind of advice
Aliud: (turning around, facing away) what gesture or action would be construed as romantic?


Vic: if only I knew, I’d tell you
Aliud: I shall share my eventual findings


Hunter: just act like they’re already interested in you, you don’t have to ask
Aliud: I lack data on my own behavior when someone is interested
Hunter: well you’re outta luck
Aliud: Correlation. Acting is key. Acting is taught in theater. A theater tradition is to say “break a leg” to wish one good luck. I shall find a means by which I can break one leg. Secondary hypothesis. Breaking both legs will double my luck


Nono: um, I think it’s best if you just naturally bump into someone and you feel an attraction, and then you keep finding yourselves running into each other
Aliud: mutual collision is not optimal pathfinding behavior, but I will continue to tune my algorithm


Emma: I dunno, just grab 'em and kiss 'em
Aliud: this is the key to romantic success?
Emma: sure
Aliud: I shall study grappling and wrestling techniques. Once I am sure of the first part, I shall study kissing to ensure success at the second


Gothwitch: (long sigh) romance is dead
Aliud: Resuscitation is indicated then? Broken legs also call for medical attention. I should request training in first aid


Poly-Anna: I’d just turn into whoever they wanted most and seduce them
Aliud: a physical remodel of my exterior is a non-trivial effort but I am prepared for it.


Evan: be me. Everyone wants me.
Aliud: this is factually inaccurate. Of the home room members, there are at least–
Evan: (hand over mouth) shush. Don’t spoil the magic.


Seven-Year: nobody could ever want me, so I can’t help you.
Aliud: why?
Seven-Year: because I’m a visual freak
Aliud: please do not disparage your own appearance. Your LIDAR and sonar silhouettes are not affected by your invisibility


Chris: Cooking, I guess, but I don’t know. I think it really depends on who you want to attract
Aliud: are there individuals who do not consume calories?
Chris: uh, probably just you


Jillian: just be popular
Aliud: how do I become popular?
Jillian: style, panache, uniqueness. Be an individual.
Aliud: how do I be an individual?
Jillian: I’ve written an Instagram Influencer’s guide with step by step instructions


Hailey: don’t ask me about any kind of love, I don’t want any part of it
Aliud: may I ask what you would do if someone expressed romantic interest in you?
Hailey: probably freak out
Aliud: very well. I will endeavor not to collide with you, cook for you, or grapple you
Hailey: uh. Thanks

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