Arizella: who is your team leader anyway?
Alex: (rolls a d4) Kiln
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Alex: well the good news, politically, is that the Costa Rican military was abolished in 1949, and their budget is now used for education and culture.
Joey: what’s the bad news
Alex: (running and dodging another energy blast) nobody’s coming to save us from Fluvis’s monsters
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Kiln: millennia away from my own era, surrounded by alien costumes and incomprehensible culture. Do you have any idea what that feels like?
Roddy: my parents took me to a Rolling Stones concert once
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Kiln: Arizella said that you said that I’m the team leader
Alex: actually a d4 said that
Kiln: what is that?
Alex: an oracular device going back to the 1970s and used in the clearing of dungeons and the defeating of dragons
Kiln: it sounds potent
Alex: join my Discord for a mid-level 5E RPGA compliant campaign
Kiln: a sorcerous incantation. I didn’t realize magic was so prevalent in this era
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Nono: What about in a fight? How do you decide who leads?
Roddy: We draw straws. The person who loses has to lead.
(Credit to a college friend)
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Nono: are you lucky at drawing straws?
Alex: very
Nono: what’s your secret? Rabbit’s foot, prayer, Lotto numbers?
Alex: I bring my own straws, and have a dispenser built into my bionic arm
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Nono: What about you?
Kiln: I am adept at the secret magica of the ancients. Under the alignment of the moon and the stars and the will of the gods, I can change my fate.
Nono: That sounds like a lot of work just for one straw.
Kiln: Would you want to lead us?
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Nono: how do you handle drawing straws for leadership?
Mette: gravity powers can levitate straws just like anything else
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Nono: Just one straw, Joe!
Joey: Look at the size of these fingers.
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Nono: *sigh * Roddy?
Roddy: Are you kidding? Picking the right straw is all a matter of timing. I could do it in my sleep.
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Nono: Then… Who is the team leader?
*Everyone looks around *
Everyone: NOT IT!
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Hellbinder: I’d like to go over your most recent field trip report
Alex: What about it? The technological advancements we found in the ancient temple?
Kiln: The presence of temple guardians and a hunter in the modern day?
Mette: The similarities to my own technology?
Joey: The fact that I supposedly have been to one of these before?
Roddy: That my bestest bud’s name is actually Joseph?
Hellbinder: The part where you had a ten minute argument about who the team leader is.
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Arizella: your team should take more responsibility
Arizella: Alex, why can’t you be team leader?
Alex: did you know that after Gilligan’s Island, they did an animated spin-off called Gilligan’s Planet, using most of the original actors, minus Tina Louise, who refused to have anything further to do with the franchise?
Arizella: I didn’t know that. What does that have to do with leading the team?
Alex: nothing, I just wanted to get out of this conversation
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Arizella: Mette, why can’t you be team leader?
Mette: I am afraid that leadership was bred out of the working class on the ship.
Arizella: That’s horrible!
Mette: No, it is a fear that I can live with.
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Arizella: What is your excuse for not being team leader.
Kiln: It’s this future world I skrich fhdh Sorry jssh you’re breaking jkshgd can’t hear fkejdh
Arizella: That doesn’t work
Kiln: Really? Alex promised that it would.
Arizella: You aren’t even on the phone.
Kiln: Oh.
Kiln, holds up phone: hfjdj Can’t skiegc hear fhdjsis
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Arizella: Rodrick, why can’t you be team leader?
Roddy: Oh yeah, I’d love to it’s just-
Everyone else: NO!
Roddy: -that happens whenever I bring it up.
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(Alex has no objection to Roddy as team leader as long as we don’t get renamed to “The Powertronic Patrol”)
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(Well, there’s a reason these are Incorrect Quotes. 
)
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Arizella: Joey, why aren’t willing to be team leader?
Joey: I’m … really not leadership material. I’m more … um … passionate … romantic … I kinda … hey, that’s it! I’m not a leader, because I have the soul of a poet!
Arizella: AHA! I knew it! I expect at least 250 lines of verse, your choice of meter and rhyme scheme, on my desk, Monday morning, topic, “Discovering My Inner Calling.”
Joey: Goddammit.
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