Tahi: although I’m a student here, I am truly ancient. I have been in existence longer than some civilizations. How will I ever fit in?
Selma: heya, kid
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Tahi: several of your intelligence organizations have shown an interest in me. What is the CIA? The NSA?
Alex: Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency
Tahi: I also received a message from the AARP?
Alex: (beat) American Association of Rock Persons
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Tahi: my first day in Dr. Fryth’s class was eye-opening
Kiln: I told you so!
Tahi: I learned some claims about history that I find frankly unbelievable
Kiln: I know, I know!
Tahi: for example, the idea that the country of America has a history of people making important cultural decisions based on the color of one’s skin
Alex: no, that’s all accurate
Tahi: 
Kiln:
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Joey: Normalcy. Just … we need normalcy.
Alex: How so?
Joey: I mean, we’re a band of outsiders and outcasts. We have people lost from the past, people lost from the future, people trapped in gorilla bodies, people who are secretly super-spies – heck, we have an Atlantean princess for an advisor, and just adopted a magitech golem as our mascot-slash-teacher-slash-auxiliary-slash-ward.
Alex: Your point?
Joey: Wouldn’t we be better off if we just had more people who were … normal?
Roddy: (walks past, whistling the theme to the Powertronic Action Hour)
Joey: I stand corrected.
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Roddy: Joey! I’m going to get black roses for Gothwitch!
Joey: (grumbles)
Roddy: and I found the best floral seller ever!
Joey: (grumbles louder)
Roddy: flower-tronic!
Joey: OH MY GOD
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Tahi: The visual record “Wall-E” is complete. I have learned some profound lessons about modern humanity. I am ready for more in-journey information feed.
Alex: All right. We’re still a couple of hours out from Halcyon. I recommend we stick with the Disney catalog, just to avoid anything … conflict-inducing. I was going to suggest –
Joey: “Beauty and the Beast.”
Kiln: “Atlantis: The Lost Kingdom.”
Mette: “Mulan.”
Alex: “Pinocchio.”
Roddy: (briefly rising to consciousness and sitting up) “Last Man Standing.”
Alex: I’m pretty sure that’s not a Disney film. But if we’re doing Bruce Willis –
Joey: “Moonlighting.”
Kiln: “Pulp Fiction.”
Mette: “The Fifth Element.”
Alex: Someone should probably say “Hudson Hawk.”
Roddy: (briefly rising to consciousness and sitting up) …
Alex: He’s definitely going to say –
Everyone Else: – “Die Hard.”
Roddy: … “The Incredibles.”
Alex: Good pick.
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Kiln: I’ll stand strong and fast, I’ll never waver, no enemy can stop me
Student: so hey, are you and Chris dating?
Kiln: (runs for it)
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Sigrun: why do you have access to our system anyway?
Alex: I’m a member of the Halcyon Hackers’ League
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Joey: just how do you justify sharing our conversation with the rest of the team?
Alex: information wants to be free, man
Joey: I think your spleen wants to be free of your torso
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Roddy: (arriving at the holding cells) I’m here to save you!
Gothwitch: nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen, nobody knows but Satan…
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Joey: I mean honestly, how could you reveal my feelings about Mette to a bunch of people?
Alex: not now, I’m broadcasting security camera footage of Roddy’s romantic jailbreak of Tiff to the evening news
Joey: I’ll only forgive you if he blows it
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Tahi: Alex destroyed my home and drove me out of my comfort zone, then had the temerity to say it was for the best
Hellbinder: why in Lucifer’s name do you want to become their roommate then?
Tahi: revenge
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Kiln: how did you have so much trouble getting past Sigrun?
Mette: Jillian helped me learn how to make an entrance, we haven’t covered graceful exits yet
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Kiln: I can’t let you do this, Sigrun. I’m standing up to you
Sigrun: how have I wronged you exactly, child?
Kiln: this “child” business. I’m technically thousands of years old
Sigrun: fine. Babysit the children on your team
Kiln: will do
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Roddy: That’s a cool outfit.
Gothwitch: (holds two fingers together) I literally have like this much control over it. It just magical girls whatever I’m wearing into a frilly dress.
Roddy: So when you say you have control over it…
Gothwitch: This is the minimum amount of pink.
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Roddy: I’m here to rescue you!
Gothwitch: uh, thanks I guess
Roddy: say, can’t you just transform into the Amethyst Fairy and free yourself?
Gothwitch: technically, I can…
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Mom: Honey, have you finished your homework?
Tiffani: Oh, God, this day is the worst.
Cosmic Council of Virtue: Crisis Sorcerer: Amethyst Fairy, you are needed.
Tiffani: (stock footage whizzy background transformation sequence) BY THE POWER OF VIRTUE!
Amethyst Fairy: Oh, God, this day is the worst.
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Joey: I feel so helpless right now, while Roddy’s off doing a rescue
Alex: hey don’t feel bad. Someday we’re gonna fight a desk-themed supervillain and you’re gonna crush it
Joey: you’re on thin fuckin’ ice, pal
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(Watching Roddy parkour down the stairwell on the main meeting room viewscreen.)
Joe: Yikes.
Blackbird: Wow.
Alex: Eek.
Mette: Oof.
Sigrun: I feel like I should be alerting folk, but I cannot take my eyes off this.
Alex: You’re just waiting for him to fall and critically injure himself, victim of his own hubris, stupidity, and madness.
Sigrun: So?
Joe: She’s got a point.
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Joey: if Mette were imprisoned, I’d rush to rescue her no matter the danger
Joey: I just know she’d be so grateful
(Beat)
Joey: Alex, you can technically arrest people as an AEGIS agent, right?
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