09.1 - Temple Run

What my team doesn’t realize is that tiramisu place was bugged.

I’m joking - I just thought it would be cool to show off like that, you know? What a big brain Alex has! What a chessmaster they are! A bit of light banter, a piece of fluffy conversation, an off-handed remark, and off they go, to be spied on.

How clever I would be!

Alas, it’s not to be.

That’s why I tap their cell phones instead. Less showy, but more reliable.

Anyway! I have a plan. Hellbinder and SURGE won’t like it. AEGIS probably will like it, but will probably not swoop in like Belloq to take stuff away. Again. Hopefully. I mean, come on, they had to know I could just get more rock samples. Still.


So let’s say DIGDUG goes well, and we find some locations. Let’s say further that we don’t find a lot of tombs clustered around Halcyon City, because y’know, not everything is here, god.

We’re going to want to go there, as a team. And we don’t want to miss too much school, because, y’know, grades and censure. What’s the word? God dammit. Truancy!

We don’t want to be a bunch of truants, because then we don’t graduate. And we’d have to stay at this hell hole for another year. Oh god.

Alright! We approach Hellbinder. “Hey, maybe we have a special extracurricular suggestion.” We go easy at first, make some good points about how this would be helpful for developing students.

The hammer comes down only if necessary. “It would be a shame if these emails and associated bank statements were released. You know, the ones that implicate a certain headmaster and teacher, both formerly villains of some flavor, in a supervillain attack against some ill-supervised minors. Sounds like a couple of bad guys went back to their own ways. I wonder what the papers would say.”

What do you think, sirs?


All right, big brain, where does this new intel get you as far as SINISTAR goes?

First, we know who hired the villains now. It was the school. And apparently this is a regular thing. What we don’t know is what other villains might show up.

What we do know is that there’s apparently enticement on offer. What would be great is if we knew who else would show up.

Time to assume a few things about good ol’ fallible human beings!

  • The people at the museum may have jumped the gun in the past, or now, and started making arrangements with contractors to repair the museum before, y’know, the museum got damaged.
  • The school isn’t going to bring in any villains who will actually kill the students.
  • The school might further contact local heroes and notify them to be on hand, just in case.
  • The students might not be expected to win, but I don’t think they’re going to bring Doctor Death in to fight the Wimp Squad. There might be some tailoring of job offers.
  • Either the students are expected to lose (in which case repeat villain business is likely), or they are expected to win (in which case it’s time for all new villains every time). Either way, it’s unlikely that there’s a villain who wants to go to jail for Hellbinder’s amusement.

SINISTAR can be shut down. It’s time for a new program. It’s time for QBERT. Mission objectives:

  • Scan through past dealings involving the school, their bank, and the museum.
  • Correlate to known supervillain attacks, then to construction contracts.
  • Pull records on supervillains involved in school-sponsored attacks. Known accomplices, jail terms, who made bail.
  • Correlate to known superhero sightings and locations, e.g. public speaking events.

This should give us a picture of who the school uses for its extracurricular training program, and how villains are enticed into participating. If we see a bunch of familiar faces, we’ve learned something about the school.

Off we go, buddy!