His gaze snaps back to mine. “I remember Chichen Itza.”
Okay, I have to smile at that one again. “Well that’s a start.”
“I mean, knew about the trip. I remembered the ruins, that treasure hunter with the eye patch, the secret chamber – but nothing more. I just knew I enjoyed being there and didn’t know why.”
Meanwhile, I remembered it all. But like pictures in a book, as if it had happened to a stranger. Which was the greater cruelty?
That said, he enjoyed being with me. That’s – huh. “And now?”
“And now I know to watch where I’m running when we play tag.”
“See? Life lesson you can now apply.”
Jason slowly climbs to his feet. He moves like an old man.
“What else do you remember?”
He closes his eyes. “Coconut drinks in the Mercado de Brujas. That copy of Aleph and Other Stories that appeared on my headboard at the Keys house on my 13th birthday. Some moments in Amsterdam I’d --” He stops, shakes his head, then opens his eyes. They’re wet, as he looks upward. “Jesus Christ, Dad, you really fucked me up.”
I snort again. “Welcome to the club. I sometimes think that’s the informal motto of the Menagerie. Except for Adam.”
Jason looks at me again, his gaze narrowing. “Who are you?”
Blink. “I – thought we had that settled.”
“Alycia Chin – the enemy, the counterpart, the shadow Me, the daughter of that Satan-on-Earth Doctor Chin.”
I feel a chill, but I nod.
“Alycia Chin – the competitor, counting coup, who gets the drop on whom, winning or losing on points.”
A snort, and another nod.
“Alycia Chin – the friend, the one I can talk with about demanding fathers and aspirations and being a genius. The one I was – jealous of.” I start at that. “The one I envied for her independence, and the time she spent away from her dad.”
I nod again, though a lot of those times weren’t much to envy. And Krishna knows I was just as jealous of Jason and family, his brother …
“Alycia Chin – beautiful and sexy --” He stops, opens his mouth, stops again. My God, he’s blushing. And, in return, I feel my own face get hot.
“Um. Antarc–”
“I know!” He turns away, takes a step. “Jesus. And now I feel like a perv because you’re still under-age, even if my memories are of when we both --”
“Don’t worry,” I say, quickly but making my tone as dry as I can, “I’m not expecting or inviting a repeat performance.”
“And then there’s Alycia Chin – the menace, the assassination threats, the public oath of vendetta.”
I shrug, slightly. “Yeah, that was … well more cover than anything else. Eventually. Trying to keep Father’s organization focused and together. I could have --”
_The room is dark. Jason lies on top the sheets, even in the air conditioning, in boxers with some sort of pattern I can’t make out in the dimness. He snores, but I knew that. It’s madness to be here, and it’s something I can’t repeat, but I had to see if I could. And, knowing that, I know what other things I could do right that moment. Instead I turn and leave.
_
“-- but, well, I didn’t.”
“So who’s the real Alycia Chin?”
I hold up my hands. “All of the above? I’ve been all those things. Our relationship was … complicated. And, maybe --” – it was unhealthy? Yeah, I’m not discussing my relationship with my Jason Quill with this version of him. Enough of that. “But you’ve been a lot of things, too – so who are you? Jason Quill – inventor and scientist? Jason Quill – heir to the Quill Foundation? Jason Quill – happy-go-lucky adventurer? Jason Quill – super-hero?” I pause, then continue, “Jason Quill – dictator of the world? Jason Quill – killer? Jason Quill --”
“Stop!” He glares at me, and I glare back at him. Just like old times. Then his eyes widen. “And if I haven’t learned to work and play well with others, which Alycia Chin comes out next? Is that why you’re here? Is that why my nanobots are deactivated?”
I pause. “I think that part is because some of the nanobot code got patched both by you and by the Heart Machine – the young Jason. It didn’t happen with the Jason back in our timeline. I’d guess the use should come back soon, once your brain has adapted.”
He puts his hands on his hips. “And the other part?”
Another pause. “I seriously doubt it will come to that.”
“You’d kill me?”
“Not unless I had to. But I might be quicker to think I had to than other folk.” Brave words. Could I really kill him? Easier to convince him I would than convince myself. “This world is broken. You’re either part of the solution, or you’re still part of the problem.”
“Things would fall apart again without me. I’m the only one --”
“Jason, you’re talking to the wrong person. I grew up with that kind of ends-means / irreplaceable-man rhetoric. It doesn’t work on me any more.”
“Great. So how do I prove I don’t deserve a quick dagger to the eyeball, Alycia? What oaths do you want me to swear? What enforcement mechanism to you suggest? What --”
“I don’t know!” I hope the soundproofing here is decent, because that was a bit louder than I’d intended. I force myself to calm down a scosh. “I don’t know, Jason. Maybe just … how do you feel? What do you remember? Did any of this make a bit of difference?”
He sags back against a credenza with dusty plastic crates stacked on it. “I – don’t know, either. I’m remembering stuff. But until I actually pay attention to it, I don’t really, y’know, remember it. If that makes any sense.”
I nod.
“I just --” He closes his eyes again. Draws in a deep breath. Lets it out, slowly. “It’s – I remember stuff. Things the other Jason said, his experiences, little differences that ended up making a big difference in your timeline.” He seems to be accepting that much, at least. “And a lot about you. Us. Things we talked about. Stuff that wasn’t you pointing vortex blasters at me or stealing things. Stuff I didn’t --”
He opens his eyes again. “Most of which makes me realize how lonely I’ve been, Alycia. All these years. I had to – the things I did, the steps I had to --” He stops, corrects himself. “The steps I thought were the right ones. And maybe weren’t. But each one of them took me further away from people. From my friends. From …” He trails off but looks at me.
“I watched my father,” I say, slowly, “turn into a monster by being the One Person Who Knew How to Save the World. By valuing the world above the particular people who live in it. By turning the Greater Good into a fetish that let him ignore the smaller, individual goods that are messy and inconsistent and take extra, inefficient time to deal with. It’s a trap, a terrible, terrible trap. And when you’re alone, there’s nobody to point it out to you.”
“Especially when you – when someone does try to point it out – I --” His shoulders sag and he drops his face into his hands. “Oh, God, Leo,” he sobs. “What did I do?”
[To be continued …]
author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/6648227