Roddy: Powertronic! So nice to meet you again! This is my plus one, Tiff!
Tiff: Daddy, this is Roddy from school. Please don’t embarrass me, okay?
Roddy: … daddy …? 
1 Like
Evan: I’ll date anything that moves!
Alex: (furiously gestures “enemy in sight, take cover”)
Joey, Roddy, Kiln: (all drop)
3 Likes
Alex: okay, here we are. A once-great temple to the hallowed gods of antiquity. Work the ancient machinery properly, and treasure can be yours.
Roddy: this is Dave & Buster’s.
Alex: they have tendies until 11pm and the arcade has the 80’s classics. Buy some tokens and let’s go.
3 Likes
(See Session 11.9)
Alex: I regret NOTHING!
Mette: What.
Kiln, covering Alex’s mouth: They’re sorry! We’re all sorry!
3 Likes
(the team is exhausted after exploring a dangerous temple and battling monsters)
Mette: come on, we’re getting on board
Alex: (on phone) not yet. I’m leaving a really bad Yelp review
3 Likes
This is what makes this one pure comedy gold for me. It’s not “what?”, it’s “what.”
1 Like
The power of punctuation. Glad it worked
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Alex: Joey, we’re rooting for you!
Kiln: its bark is worse than its bite!
Mette: this is really in-twigging to watch!
Roddy: I fig-ure you got this!
Joey: (wrestling with berserk animated trees) you assholes could be helping right now!
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Alex: can we live inside this vehicle?
Mette: I think that’s possible, but it might be cramped
Alex: can we paint it yellow?
Mette: I suppose…?
Alex: great. I have a theme song for us
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Alex: …
It was twenty days ago today
Arizella joined the group to stay
They’ve been going in and out of style
But they’re guaranteed to raise a smile
So may I introduce to you,
The act you’ve known for all this year,
Arizella’s Only Tomb Patrol
We’re Arizella’s Only Tomb Patrol
We hope you will enjoy the show
Arizella’s Only Tomb Patrol
Sit back and let exploring go
Arizella’s Only
Arizella’s Only
Arizella’s Only Tomb Patrol
…
Alex: what do you think, sirs?
Agent Waters: this is not the sort of after-action report we were expecting
1 Like
AEGIS Law Instructor: You’re currently failing your ethics course.
Alex, slides over $20: How about now?
2 Likes
Alex: Forget the temple, guys, we need to get back to the States, ASAP!
Joey: Has Hellbinder finally shown his true colors?
Mette: Is Dr. Infinity attacking Halcyon?
Roddy: Is Dr. Infinity attacking Powertronic?
Kiln: Have the Ancient Prophecies of the Deathly Tentacles of Bloody Doom come to pass?
Alex: No. It’s worse … much, much worse …
Image via @Margie
3 Likes
Alex: hey I resent this! I’m more than just a nerd with an unhealthy obsession with computers, pop culture, and junk food!
Kiln: we’re listening
Alex: I’m also…
Roddy: yeah?
Alex: uhh
Mette: yes?
Alex: that is to say
Joey: spit it out
Alex: just pass me the french fries
2 Likes
Alex: You ever notice that everyone gets made fun of around here except for Mette?
Joey: SIGH. I mean, watch it …
Roddy: No, he’s right. I mean, everyone paints Alex as a nerd with an unhealthy obsession with computers, pop culture, and junk food.
Alex: Represent, brother.
Joey: And everyone makes fun of Roddy for being flighty and arrogant and obsessed with Powertronic.
Roddy: Truth.
Kiln: And all of us disrespect Joey for his temper and his size and his being a monkey –
Joey: Ape! But, yeah.
Alex: And Kiln is the Ancient Dude of Mystery, straight out of the pages of Erich von Daniken and H.P. Lovecraft, only without all the icky racist bits.
Kiln: You left out Robert E. Howard, but, yes.
Roddy: But not Mette. Nobody makes fun of how smart she is.
Alex: Or her mastery of advanced engineering.
Kiln: Or her experiences traveling the universe.
Joey: Or her beauty. Or her dreamy eyes. Or her long, gorgeous hair. Or shapely –
Mette: (Walking up) Hi, team.
Team: SIGH.
3 Likes
Challenge accepted
Alex: so let me get this straight. You got a thing for Mette
Joey: well, uh… 
Alex: let’s review what she’s done so far. Gotten a date with a dude you don’t like. Randomly knocked a classmate into orbit. Googled for “flying submarines near me”.
Joey: uhhh yeah…?
Alex: I’m surprised you’re an ape and not a bull because you seem ready to charge into a huge mass of red flags!
2 Likes
Joey: So she found a flying submarine. That makes her exotic, intriguing –
Alex: Kinda scary to me.
Joey: And she’s powerful. I mean, someone like me, I don’t want some sort of delicate passion-flower.
Alex: Still scary to me.
Joey: And she got a date with Evan. That’s because I stood back, didn’t make my move, let doubts and hesitation steal my chance.
Alex: Absolutely scary to – wait, sounds like that’s scary to you.
Joey: Shit.
2 Likes
There’s a conversation to be had where Alex asks Joey how (a) he feels when people look at him and only see “ape” vs. (b) he feels about Mette and whether it’s her looks or something else, but I want to save that for the actual game
Evan: so, are you and Chris dating?
Kiln: no, we’re just friends
Evan: ah, so you’re both single. Good.
Kiln: were you thinking of dating one of us?
Evan: one…?
2 Likes