Roy: Man, I’m not sure about Joey being a hero. He’s got some dark secrets.
Hailey: I’m afraid all that internalized trauma may make him unstable.
Evan: He looks all cute on the outside, but it’s hardly surprising something more monstrous lurks within.
Alex: There’s more projection going on here than in the entire A/V Club.
This one is pure gold.
Kiln: Magitech comes from the past … its power is profound.
Joey: Magitech exists in the presence … its power is … transformative.
Mette: Magitech extends into the future … its power is … um … stellar.
Alex (facepalming): Look, if we’re going to sell this stuff on QVC, you people need to step up your game.
Roddy: cracking the firewall in 10 seconds.
Mette: recollimating the holographics…
Kiln: realigning the crystals…
Joey: (mimicking typing) I’m in. Now to download an actual life.
Alex: Just because you fuckers asked who has the best bod, I heard “baud” - an easy mistake - and said US Robotics…
Evan: Well, I’m certainly glad we chose not to go on that dreary field trip.
Paul: In a stuffy, boring museum we’ve all been to a dozen times.
Anna: Even worse, they have to put up with Fryth!
Derek: We chose … wisely.
Jillian: (running up) Hey, did you hear? Metavillain attack at the City Museum!
Others: DAMMIT!
[Was too amused by this idea that I couldn’t not.]
<Aliud at the museum (and most days). Then Roddy tackled them.>
Aliud: Classmate Reynolds, that was unnecessary. My core is titanium reinforced.
Sync: That doesn’t mean I could let you get crushed.
Aliud: This data will need further processing.
Aliud: Classmate Reynolds, have you noticed my new attire.
Roddy: (not really paying attention) Yeah sure, Aliud.
Aliud: It was chosen based on your reaction to Classmate DuQuesne’s attire.
Aliud: Yeah, she has good taste. (finally pays attention) Cute dress. I need to get to my next class, bye.
<Aliud reacts.>
How did Alex lead anyone on?
Didn’t Chris hit on you and you turn her down?
Evan: I sense a kindred spirit in you.
Alex: A what now?
Evan, slinging an arm around Alex: I too have had to turn down women after leading them on a merry chase. We are the same, you and I.
Alex, furiously thinking: I did What?
Alex: Okay, first of all, I didn’t make her cry. She just kind of smiled and wandered off.
Alex: Second of all, I didn’t lead her on. She came over to me, I didn’t do or say anything.
Alex: Third, she’s a total sweetheart and I wish her well, I don’t dislike her, I’m just not what she needs right now
(Overprotective demon dads glance at each other and grumble)
Roddy: I saved Aliud from being severely scuffed!
Mette: I saved Aliud from his path toward being a Monster!
Joey: I saved Mette from a plasma ball!
Kiln: I saved Gothwitch from a crumbling wall!
Alex: I saved 5Gb off my data plan by hacking into the museum WiFi when we walked in the door!
Roddy: Alex isn’t an idiot, they just lack common sense.
Roddy: Like, they can hack their way into any system easy as pie.
Roddy: But you can bet that they’re doing the Tide Pod challenge.
Kiln: You know, I think this whole field trip has really made me grow as a person.
Alex, from the back: Not vertically it hasn’t!
Kiln: Alex, what new marvel of technology are you working on here?
Alex: (at the workbench) adding pop-out spikes to my arms and shoulders
Kiln: ah, like spikey pit traps, to disable a beast
Alex: (flashing back to Evan’s hand on their shoulder) yeah, exactly
Aliud: I received your invitation. What is its purpose?
Kiln: we are going to teach you more about acting normal so you may successfully, as this era says, “hang out” with Roddy
Alex: and I’m going to run a diagnostic of your system to see if we can make any tweaks to your kinematics or social perception systems
Aliud: pardon my expression of doubt that you two can help me be “normal”
Girl: I’ll do anything you want
Evan: so, like, my homework?
Kiln: I believe you’ve exceeded your time.
Joey: My brooding, like myself, is gargantuan.
Mette: Shift management is important.
Joey: GARGANTUAN.
Alex: Guys, you know there’s another side of the building.
Roddy: The view’s better on this side.
Roddy: You know, we leave the Cheesy+Caramel Popcorn bag upside down when closed, so the slightly heavier caramel corn pieces don’t all sift to the bottom.
Joey: Mrph.
Roddy: I believe I’ve mentioned this before.
Joey: Erph-mrph.
Roddy: Also, the bag is considerably lighter than it was yesterday when I bought it.
Joey: Mrph-erph.
Roddy: Do you have something to say for yourself?
Joey: Sorry, I couldn’t hear you, this popcorn crunches really loud.
UPDATE: Some of this dialog may have been inspired by certain other dialog from various folk here at the Consortium.