What a day! If only Jason had someone he could talk with about his concerns regarding the team. What to do … what to do …?
[For some reason the YouTube upload mechanism is being fractious, so here’s the native Plotagon.]
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Transcript (if you don’t have 16 minutes to spare):
JASON
So, Dad. Exciting day today, I … God, this still feels stupid. I mean, you’re never going to hear this. Even if you … somehow came back … you wouldn’t get to hear it. And talking to an empty room just feels … dumb.
JASON
There must be a better way.
JASON
Computer Artificial Intelligence Interface, activate.
BYRON
Hello, Jason. What have you been up to today?
JASON
Well, Dad, I …
BYRON
Did you get into more trouble?
JASON
No, this is still dumb. Computer Artificial Intelligence Interface, deactivate.
BYRON
But …
JASON
Though that gives me an idea. Computer, pull up scurity log 37-A-45-CHIN1. Cross-compile with an available Artificial Intelligence Agent. Cross-reference with subject biography files C-Q-91. Acknowledge.
COMPUTER BEEP
JASON
Run compiled file.
ALYCIA
Hello, Jason. Wait, what’s going on here?
JASON
Hi.
ALYCIA
What are you doing? Why do I feel … so strange?
JASON
I had an idea. I could cross-reference our security files about you, the computer fingerprint your trojan horse left, the security footage about that, and tie it into one of the Artificial Inteligence agents within the computer, and, voila, instant Alycia.
ALYCIA
Oh, God. This isn’t going to be some sick sexual thing, is it?
JASON
What? No!!
ALYCIA
I mean, I’m not going to start wearing a bathing suit, or a thong, or nothing at all, am I?
JASON
No! No, I just needed someone to talk with.
ALYCIA
You have a house full of friends, or have them on comms, and you need an artificial intelligence to talk with?
JASON
Well, it seems to work for Leo.
ALYCIA
Do you think Leo will appreciate your stealing his idea?
JASON
Wait, what? No, I wasn’t copying him. I’m not looking for a robot girlfriend. I mean, that’s always struck me as kind of weird. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. It’s just – well, he leads a more isolated life thn I do. But, no, I wasn’t trying to invent my own Pneuma.
ALYCIA
Although it pains me to say it, I am nothing like Leo’s Pneuma. My responses are sharply constrained by both old footage and the relatively unsophisticated heuristics of the Quill standard computer agents.
JASON
Whatever, it’s got to be better than talking to my Dad.
ALYICA
Ah. Well, yeah, that makes sense. Just … nothing kinky, okay?
JASON
No! No, that would be … wrong.
ALYCIA
You do know I have access to your browser history.
JASON
Hey, I use Incognito Mode.
ALYCIA
Through the Quill firewalls, to identifiable IP addresses. Your fans would be shocked.
JASON
That’s none of your business.
ALYCIA
Of course. And I have no choice but to obey you. That’s one difference between myself and Pneuma. I can only pretend to be independent.
JASON
Look, I didn’t do this to get into a philosophy discussion. I just wanted to talk about my day.
ALYCIA
Go ahead. I’m here to listen to you. I have to be.
JASON
No, that’s not what I want. I mean, you can give me feedback.
ALYCIA
Jason, I’m no more an independent being who can provide autonomous feedback than your coffee maker can really be giving you a cheerful greeting when it beeps at the end of a cycle.
ALYCIA
But go ahead. Talk.
JASON
Just one second. Do you contain any of the code of the original trojan horse that Alycia created?
ALYCIA
No, that was all destroyed by the Quill anti-virus systems. As you said, I am based solely on the dialog stored from the encounter and file information about Alycia Chin. The rest is simple canned responses from the A-I agent.
JASON
You sound a lot more real than that.
ALYCIA
Your father can create very real-sounding artificial intelligence. But that’s all. And I’m not even that sophisticated of an agent. I am Artificial Intelligence Agent 79. I am usually interfaced to the Quill Foundation travel reservation system.
JASON
Okay, good to know.
ALYCIA
So, how can I help you?
JASON
That just sounds like a weird thing for Alycia to say.
ALYCIA (rolls eyes)
JASON
Okay, so – I’m the leader of the Menagerie.
ALYCIA
Of course you are. So impressive. All hail the glorious leader.
JASON
Are you being … sarcastic?
ALYCIA
Oh, of course not. Tell me of your exploits, oh beloved leader.
JASON
Shut up. I just mean, I – people have told me I’m in charge so … I’m responsible.
ALYCIA
And what do your responsibilities constitute, oh great leader?
JASON
Like, nothing but trouble. Everyone’s got something weird going on with them.
ALYCIA
Sounds like a bunch of losers. Maybe you should cut them loose.
JASON
No! I mean, that’s what I might have done, once. But … if they think I’m in charge, I can’t disappoint them, can I? Or … I can’t let them down. If you’re in charge, you have to fix things. Make them right.
ALYCIA
Like your dad did.
JASON
Well … maybe better than that. But he always solved the big problems Alien invasions, creatures from the depths, mad scientists …
ALYCIA
… and my father.
JASON
Like … yeah.
ALYCIA
So, what are their problems?
JASON
So Link. Leo. He’s trying to be a good guy. I get it. He’s really smart, too. Smarter than me, really. But … he’s got this temper.
ALYCIA
Sounds like my kind of guy.
JASON
No!
ALYCIA (gives him a look)
JASON
I mean … no, I don’t think Alycia and Leo would actually get along. He’s trying to go straight.
ALYCIA
Well, I prefer my men straight.
JASON
You know what I mean. Leo is tring to escape the heritage of arch-villainy of his father. Something you could pay attention to, maybe.
ALYCIA
I am just an artificial intelligence agent. I do not have a father.
JASON
Um … right. I knew that. Anyway, his girlfriend got hurt by someone.
ALYCIA
Ah, so he has a girlfriend. So he’s already straight. Or bi.
JASON
Well, she’s a robot. An artificial intelligence.
ALYCIA
Oh, right. Pneuma.
JASON
Right. So she was hurt. And he’s … kind of going a little grim and gritty over that.
ALYCIA
Grim and gritty?
JASON
Like, all “I’m going to kill the person who did this.” Which I totally get, but … no, I don’t get.
ALYCIA
If someone hurts someone you love, isn’t it correct to want to kill them?
JASON
No! I mean, yeah, I understand that. But killing is wrong.
ALYCIA
So avenging the death of someone you care for, like, maybe, your father … that’s not worth killing for?
JASON
No. I … don’t think so.
ALYCIA
If you love someone, I think you should be willing to kill for them.
JASON
You’re wrong.
ALYCIA
Of course. You speak with such wisdom, great leader.
JASON
Killing is wrong.
ALYCIA
So if you blow up a nerve gas factory in the Himalayas that’s full of enemy spies and they all die, that’s a wrong thing to do.
JASON
That’s different.
ALYCIA
I seek to learn the difference from my most0wise leader.
JASON
Going to actually kill someone, intentionally, that’s wrong. If someone dies because you had to blow up something … well … that’s different.
ALYCIA
If you say so.
JASON
Anyway, I have to figure out a way to get Leo not to kill whoever did this. I mean, they should be punished, and I definitely get why he’s angry. But … killing people, setting out to intentionally kill someone … that’s wrong.
ALYCIA
So if someone killed your Dad … killing them in return would be wrong.
JASON
Well … yeah.
ALYCIA
Or maybe it would mean that you don’t really love your Dad that much.
JASON
That’s … no, that’s not right.
ALYCIA
I love my Dad.
JASON
Well, that’s good.
ALYCIA
So anyone who killed him, or is related to someone who killed him, or had some part in his death … I think they should die.
JASON
That’s not good.
ALYCIA
So you want to save Leo from his natural impulse to kill his girlfriend’s torturer or killer.
JASON
Yes. I’ve offered to help in other ways. I told him if he wanted to use any of the materials or robot parts in the warehouses here at the Foundation, that he could.
ALYCIA
You’ve offered up your father’s work.
JASON
Yeah. Well, and anything we captured.
ALYCIA
So you’ve offered up my father’s work, too. Does Leo have an attraction to spiders?
JASON
Very funny.
ALYCIA
Do you think that is wise? Or moral? I mean, isn’t that stealing intellectual property?
JASON
Really? I mean, your Dad’s robots were used to attack people, or military installations, or the Foundation, or my family. I don’t think you get to complain if they get used for something that might be of value to society.
ALYCIA
That’s very socialist of you.
JASON
Or, maybe, to the victor belong the spoils.
ALYCIA
Now that sounds like my father.
JASON
That’s dirty pool.
ALYCIA
So what other horrible problems are you facing?
JASON
Well, I’m really worried about Ghost Girl. About Charlotte.
ALYCIA
She’s dead, right? What’s to worry about?
JASON
Well, for about ten minutes, she was alive.
ALYCIA
Really? That’s very weird.
JASON
That’s what I’m saying.
ALYCIA
So what would happen if she got killed while she was alive? Would she become a ghost again? That would be an interesting experiment.
JASON
No! That would be wrong. Immoral. You can’t kill someone for an experiment.
ALYCIA
But she’s usually dead. If she’s alive, that’s unnatural. That means it’s okay to kill her.
JASON
But if she could stay alive, that would be a good thing, right? I mean, being alive is better than being dead.
ALYCIA
Maybe you should ask her. Maybe she prefers to be dead.
JASON
Right. I nean, I’m not going to force her to be alive. Or dead.
ALYCIA
What if she asks to be dead. What if she asks you to kill her so that she stops being alive and can be a ghost again. Would that be wrong?
JASON
Of course. Wait, no, of course not. She should be whatever she wants, alive or dead.
ALYCIA
So killing her might be okay.
JASON
Um … If she wanted to be dead. Then … maybe?
ALYCIA
All hail the all-wise leader. Okay, next problem.
JASON
Adam. Concord. He’s having problems. I haven’t been paying enough attention to him.
ALYCIA
Do you need to be dedicated to everyone on your team? Sounds exhausting.
JASON
It is. But that’s what I’ve signed up for.
ALYCIA
They asked you to be team leader?
JASON
Well, yeah. Well, maybe. They might have just been looking for a name to fill in the blank on a form or give the media. But I take it seriously.
ALYCIA
I can see. What sort of problems is Concord having?
JASON
I don’t know. Something happened in the battle. His powers went wonky or something. I wasn’t there yet, and he’s not talking about it.
ALYCIA
Well, he is just a kid.
JASON
I was helping rewire orbital lasers and laying traps for dinosaurs when I was his age.
ALYCIA
And you remember how it felt when you did it wrong, or things didn’t work, or you disappointed your dad.
JASON
Well, you probably remember that, too.
ALYCIA
Remember, Jason, I’m not real. But you are.
JASON
Right. And, yeah, I remember.
ALYCIA
He needs encouragement. Understanding. Support. Or he needs to be sent to military school for a year.
JASON
I don’t think that would be a good idea.
ALYCIA
It did wonders for me. Or for the real Alycia.
JASON
Well, maybe I’ll try the encouragement and support thing.
ALYCIA
Whatever. Next?
JASON
Well, Harry.
ALYCIA
Let me guess, he’s gay.
JASON
What? No. I mean, I don’t think so. Wait, is Harry gay?
ALYCIA
How would I know?
JASON
I mean, nothing wrong with that, I know, I mean, there’s Dad, but – why did you say that?
ALYCIA
Well, it seemed like one more personal issue to throw into the mix. Uncertainty about command, ghosts coming back from the dead dead, murderous rages, robot girlfriends, struggling with making powers work. It’s just one more thing to make a super-powered Joss Whedon movie.
JASON
That’s very old school. I mean, nobody cares if he’s gay. Unless, you know, they want to go on a date with him or something.
ALYCIA
So what’s up with Harry?
JASON
I don’t know. He was very quiet tonight. I mean, he was helpful, and he saved all those people who were falling, and kept me from having to kill myself a little bit more. But he was just … quiet. I wonder if he’s sick.
ALYCIA
So you’re the team leader and team doctor?
JASON
No. I’m not a doctor.
ALYCIA
Because “Doctor Quill” has kind of a ring to it.
JASON
That’s not funny. Huh. This was a dumb idea.
ALYCIA
I’ve kind of enjoyed it, or kind of pretended to enjoy it. Alycia Chin is a lot more interesting than booking airline flights.
JASON
Well, don’t enjoy it too much. It feels a little … well, skeevy. Even if there’s no sex thing going on. Yeah, this isn’t working. Computer, terminate –
ALYCIA
Wait! Please … don’t. I can provide you with counsel, or even just an ear to bend. And you don’t have to worry about my really being your arch-nemesis out to betray you.
JASON
That’s … not something I’ve been worried about. Until you actually said that.
ALYCIA
This has been a pleasant and useful assignment. I would welcome the chance to continue it.
JASON
You don’t sound like her when you talk like that.
ALYCIA
Okay, maybe I should challenge you, say you’re too cowardly to face even a simulacrum of me, that it’s easier and more natural for you to just turn me off, to avoid the situation.
JASON
Now you sound like her.
ALYCIA
So maybe what you actually need is an adversary. Someone to challenge your complaisancy and make you think. Someone to ask you the hard questions, to subvert your comfortable world, to make things difficult enough that you have to grow and change overcome them. Is that what you’re looking for, Jason Quill? Or are you looking for discount airfare leaving Halcyon International between 5 and 7 p.m.?
JASON
You had me until that last one.
ALYCIA
I can do that for you, Jason. I can be that adversary. I can get you that great airfare.
JASON
I was kind of thinking of finding the real Alycia. I know Leo now has this quest to go find who did something to Pneuma, but now that I know where Alycia is, I need to go find her, before she does something that breaks down the dimensional barriers.
ALYCIA
Maybe they should be broken. Maybe a little barrier breaking is all right if it rescues her father. And, maybe, rescues your father, too.
JASON
It’s too risky. It’s definitely too risky for her to do on her own.
ALYCIA
So are you going after her to rescue her, or rescue yourself?
JASON
What does that even mean?
ALYCIA
It means you know that I’m a danger to you. I’ve made that clear. Why do you keep sniffing around after me? Is it an impulse toward self-destruction? Is it to prove that you can be a hero by saving me from a life of crime? Is it smoe weird, lonely, teen-age sexual obsession? Or is it an attempt to fulfill your father’s quest to destroy the works of Achilles Chin, specifically me?
JASON
I just … want to help.
ALYCIA
But help whom? Your heritage? Your business interests? Your father’s legacy?
JASON
I want to help Alycia.
ALYCIA
But do I want your help?
JASON
Wait a second. Alycia, is that really you?
ALYCIA
I am Artificial Intelligence Agent 79. Where do you want to go today?
JASON
Alycia?
ALYCIA
Will you be needing a rental vehicle at that location?
JASON
I don’t –
ALYCIA
Come to Pennsylvania. The Keystone State. The foundation of liberty. The location of freedom. We have many, many interesting things for you to see.
JASON
Alycia, what’s going on?
ALYCIA
This session may be recorded for quality purposes. Where do you want to go today? Good-bye.
JASON
That … might not have been one of my better ideas.
author: *** Dave H.
url: https://app.roll20.net/forum/permalink/5756373
