Figured I would split this into a separate thread from the Menagerie Art Thread for a pair of reasons:
- This topic sort of took over that thread.
- And this is about talking about it apart from the artwork itself.
Current issue I’m running into is that some of my flavor text is getting a bit long. As you can probably see from the two pictures below, any more than four lines in the flavor text box is a bit too tiny for easy reading.
So, I figured I would post some of the flavor text that is currently running over that length and see what folks think would help shorten that up. I am also open to completely changing the topic of the text, though I would hope that the picture still fits since I don’t want to have to do new artwork.
Some technicals. I’m seeing around 180 characters fit into four lines, give or take based on large words. Also, the quote boxes can be a combination of descriptive text and dialogue, written as prose. No “Concord: Saying stuff.” format like we have on the Incorrect Quotes thread.
Obviously some are bigger offenders than others, so a couple of the five liners might survive as is, but those six liners definitely need to go.
Anyway, here’s the ones that are giving me issues right now.
The Mighty Milestone
Eric had long felt like the Milestone management didn’t appreciate what he did for the team. He had been the Mighty Milestone, beloved mascot of the Halcyon Milestones for over a decade, but did they care? did they notice him? Well, after tonight, they wouldn’t be able not to notice him anymore. (298 char)
Buzz and Marsha
“Good evening Halcyon, it is Marsha-” “And Buzz!” “and We’ve got a barn burner tonight, as the Halcyon Milestones are set to take on the Emerald City Astronauts-” Marsha trailed off in her rundown of the game as she saw a figure wrapped in shadows walk out onto the court. (273 char)
Foul, Free Throw
“You-” Ghostheart started to say, but the head referee blew her whistle and drowned out the necromancer. “Who do-” {WHISTLE} “Who do you think-” {WHISTLE} “WHOdoyouthinkyouaretomockme!?” {WHISTLE} (200 char)
Ghost of Davis McDuffie
“Thank you for all your help, Mr. McDuffie,” Armiger said as the two shook hands. “No problem, kid,” McDuffie replied with a huge smile, “I’m just happy to know that folks still remember me even though I’m gone.” (212 char)
Looking Ugly Out There
“Ugly indeed, Buzz. We’ve got a pack of free-roaming specters heading towards the bleachers and it is a race to make it to the exits for our fans.” “Free-roaming specters? I didn’t know you knew so much about ghosts, Marsha.” “Well I didn’t Buzz, until I turned to tonight’s sponsors…” (287 char)
Play of the Game
“While I’ve never called a big supers fight like this before,” Buzz explained, "I feel like our hometown hero Mercury has this one in the bag. With reflexes like those, who could even touch the Halcyon’s Silver Son? (216 char)
Sprinkler System
Charade skidded for a moment before her feet finally slipped and she hit the floor. “Why would you do that?” Charade shouted. “I thought running water got rid of spirits!” Concord shouted back. “Conjurations,” Ghost Girl yelled. “We’ve been over the distinction.” (264 char)
Teamwork Breakdown
“Welcome back folks and if your just joining us, the Menagerie seem to have broken out into an argument following an accident involving the sprinkler systems. Buzz, what are your thoughts?” “Well Marsha, this team is going to have to get their heads into the game if they want to walk away with the W tonight.” (311 char)
