Summer: I’ve asked you repeatedly not to use me as a wifi access point for your hacking
Alycia: hold still, I’m almost done
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Alycia: no. No. NO.
Summer: pink ribbons would really accessorize this outfit, I’m sure of it!
Alycia: this is your revenge, isn’t it
Summer: revenge is a dish best served cute!
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Skinner: Alright Ten Stone, I know you’ve been looking into exploring the more mystical elements of Excalibur so I thought we’d spend some time on that.
Armiger: Great, what is going to be? Magical spells? Casting fireballs? Making Excalibur fire magical beams of light?
Skinner: See that river?
Armiger: Yes!
Skinner: I want you to turn your sword into a bridge and use it to cross the river.
Armiger: confused look That’s a thing.
Skinner: Someone hasn’t been reading the literature.
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Harry: super-speed!
Adam: emotionally-powered force fields
Charlotte: either being dead or being magical
Summer: my android construction
Alycia: my normal personality
Doctor: I’m glad you all have a plan for social distancing during the contagion
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Alycia: And if that fails, I have tasers.
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Alycia: (punching figure in face multiple times) And don’t talk to me about mask comfort! I’ve worn a a much tighter, hotter mask in the Amazon basin for three days straight, pursued day and night by my father’s killbots and if I complained to him about my ‘personal freedom’ he would have --!
Link: (to the others) And this, kids, is why we’re practicing our appropriate social interactions with a combat dummy first.
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Alycia: (still punching the combat dummy) "Have you NEVER raided a HYPERgenius WEAPONS lab and seen the COST of ignoring BASIC … BIOHAZARD … PROTOCOLS?!
Link: Um.
Alycia: (punches the head off the combat dummy)
Link: Does anyone have Jason on speed dial?
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Leo: you should see what Alycia is doing to these poor training dummies
Jason: you should have seen what she did to the ones she 3D printed that look like me
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Adam: is there anything you and Alycia don’t do together as friends?
Summer: card games
Adam: like Uno?
Summer: like Cards Against Humanity. When she and Jason play, it’s truly terrifying what they come up with
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Harry: Jason, why does one of your fill-in cards have “The Monkey Wearing a Hat” written on it? What does that even mean?
(Jason snickers slightly. Alycia attempts to snicker with a bit of dignity.)
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Alycia: I am applying for Miss Sniper 2021
Alycia: they asked me to submit my most compelling headshots
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Alycia: On consideration, never mind. Not only is “Miss Sniper 2021” sexist in its use of honorific, the title itself sends a profoundly mixed message.
(Btw, Bill, thanks for your ongoing efforts to suck the old game posts in here. I appreciate it greatly.)
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Teacher: a note on grammar. “Farther” refers to a physical distance
Teacher: “further” is for a metaphorical distance
Jason: and “father” is for emotional distance
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Alycia: at least your father let you keep your emotions …