Never Have I Ever

This is a non-canonical scene, just having fun with the various teams of Phase Three playing a drinking game. It takes into account events up to post 410.

The event had to be scheduled very carefully, what with everyone busy saving the world, or other worlds, or the universe. Likewise, the location was a closely-guarded secret. But almost everyone made it. By universal agreement, Jordan stayed home because of the presence of alcohol, and probably difficult topics of conversation.

Nobody really drank until the Game, which had been pitched randomly and caught on like wildfire. Everyone quietly and simultaneously decided to reserve their alcohol tolerance for it.

Time passed, and conversations progressed, and finally Jason announced it with a clap of his hands to draw attention. “We’ll be playing Never Have I Ever. The rules are, players go round-robin, saying, ‘never have I ever… done a thing’. If anyone else has done the thing, they drink. If nobody else drinks, the prompting player drinks - so don’t waste your time on nonsense. The game ends when we run out of questions, when no players can handle any more liquor, or by a majority vote.”

The group arranged itself in a rough circle. There was some jockeying, some glances, some calculations about who wants to stand next to whom or away from whom, but in general it was civilized and courteous.

Jason went easy on himself, testing his tolerance and maturity with a vintage cognac. Adam, being more obviously underage than some people here, opted for apple juice. The Russians, Bodark and Vermillion, inquired after and were given an expensive vodka from Jason’s supply. Others had chosen, or were still choosing, a drink of choice when the game commenced.

The first few questions were things the superhero world might consider mundane, as the players sussed out what’s acceptable to ask about.

“Never have I ever… gone to another country.” Literally everyone drank to that, but sparingly. If all the questions were to be this easy…

“Never have I ever… gone to another dimension.” This one, sounding like it did to be a much more restrictive topic, still saw the majority of the crowd take a sip of their drink.

“Never have I ever… gone into space?” Again, more than half the glasses in the room were raised to waiting lips.

“Never have I ever… gone into space while in another dimension!” There was some laughter at the audacity of this one, but to some surprise, Charlotte and her associates drank to that one.

The questions turned to conflict.

“Never have I ever… defeated a villain solo.” Clarifying questions immediately came up - “what does defeated mean?” “Solo as in, your team was defeated or you were working solo?”

General consensus was established, and a few proud people were able to claim a celebratory drink to this one. Otto and John Black in particular both raised their glasses, smirking at each other.

“Fought a whole team of villains.” Again, more questions arose, and agreement emerged: “it must be an organized team, not just a group of unconnected villains.” Harry and his friends were the first to drink.

The questions got spicier. “Never have I ever… fallen for a teammate.” The usual suspects did drink, but seemed reluctant to be seen doing so.

“Never have I ever… dated a villain.”

Firebrand spoke up. “Hold on. Can we rule that as ‘dated someone on the other side of the law’?” Nobody had an objection to that, and so she and Nono clinked glasses and drank, the only two people to do so.

“Never have I ever… dated two people at the same time?” This one belonged to Stingray, who wound up drinking to his own question. Nobody else did - or nobody owned up to it, at least.

“Never have I ever… broken up a relationship,” Ninjess suggested.

“Our own or anyone’s?” asked some joker from across the room, but it was joined with more serious questions such as, “Was it amicable?” A few somber drinks result from the discussion around this question.

“Never have I ever… involved my family in my heroic life.” People considered about this one, until Leo prompted a revision. “How about ‘never… had my family and my heroic life cross over’?”

Several people thoughtfully drank, but many more did not.

Alycia sighed, as her turn came around. “Let’s stop congratulating ourselves with our accomplishments. I want questions with teeth. Never have I ever… used my powers or training to do something I regret.” She quickly downed the rest of her own drink before seeing if anyone else drink - and as it turned out, many of them did.

The pattern was taken up. “Never have I ever… made someone’s life better, at a cost to my own.” Almost everyone drank to that.

It was Aria who brought up a question that brought many in the room to a standstill. “Never have I ever… thought about a parent I may never see again.” She glanced at Alycia, as though challenging her to say anything about ‘questions with teeth’, but Alycia was too busy looking down at her glass. Several people drank, and a few people went for a refill.

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Jason and Alycia think long and hard about that one, especially with that qualification.

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Charcuterie boards, bowls full of beer nuts, and other foodstuffs were set out to allow people a means to soften the impact of alcohol in their systems and keep the game going. While people were on break and availing themselves of the options, private discussions about the questions could be overheard.

“We’re not acting on the opposite sides of the law, technically. I’m just wanted and you’re not.”

“You want me, at least.”

“You know what I mean. Sought by the authorities for incarceration, execution, and other dissent-quelling displays of state power. But fine. Is the question about whether we’re considered villain and hero, or whether we’re acting as villain and hero?”

“Sounds like a personal interpretation. Plus, we weren’t really dating until we were both on the same side, so I feel like it’s moot.”

“Oh? Then what were we doing, all those years?”

“Flirting.”

“A very extended flirtation, then.”

“Yep.”


The questions resumed.

Bodark, new to this game, was still sussing out questions. “Never have I ever… been run over by a vehicle and walked away.” As usual, a clarification or two was raised: “collided with one okay?” With that clarification, Jason, Summer, Bodark, and a few others raised their glasses.

“Never have I ever… messed with a powerful or dangerous artifact, device, or similar dingus.” The core Menagerie had experience with the Keynomes, and a few people besides them drank as well.

“Never have I ever… changed forms or modes of being, e.g. became a ghost, robot, digital consciousness, whatever.” Summer, Ghost Girl, and Mirage were among the first to drink. Summer glanced at Aria curiously, because the latter had not had a drink.

“I went through a succession of bodies,” Aria explained. “I don’t think I fundamentally changed.”

“You’re living in the Nursery as a hologram, though?” Summer asked.

Aria tossed that around in her head for a moment, then tossed back her drink in acceptance.

“Never have I ever… wanted to give up the life.” This was from A10, who looked haunted at asking the question. But quite a few people drank, and quite a few of them raised a glass in her direction, acknowledging the shared emotion.

“Still, here we are, aren’t we,” Stingray pointed out, and relieved smiles broke out on a few faces mid-drink.