Jaycee: we should have a coffee competition
Summer: I’m in!
Charlotte: I’m willing to participate
Alex: I volunteer as judge!
Bodark: I will test if you make Irish Coffee
Alex: Jaycee’s coffee has a powerful aroma. It’s bitter but has a sweet aftertaste if you don’t just gulp it down
Alex: Summer makes a lighter, more casual blend. No good for an extended hacking session, great for an afternoon cup on the go
Alex: Charlotte mixes a complex combination of flavors and really knows how to squeeze all the life out of a coffee bean
Bodark: so? Who win?
Alex: nobody yet, we’re going to the sudden death round
Bodark: what is sudden death?
Alex: where caffeine makes my heart explode
(Bodark is on his 23rd cup of Irish Coffee in the last hour)
Alex: dude, even I don’t go this hard
Charlotte: I saw your hand trembling. Are you sure you can handle this?
Bodark: ah. That is bad.
Bodark: tremble means I have not had cigarette lately
Alex: so you drink blood, yeah?
Vermillion: I believe that’s what the fangs are for
Alex: Do you get drunk if you drain an alcoholic?
Vermillion: get drunk and we will find out
Alex: I wanna test this “vampires cannot tell the truth” thing. Read the sentences on these cards
Vermillion: “Windows 11 is the most consumer friendly operating system ever made”
Vermillion: “This training material will fully equip you to pass the Cisco Certified Internet Engineer exam”
Vermillion: “The NSA only monitors traffic involving persons of interest to the national security”
Alex: I fuckin knew it
Leo: voyages to a mysterious “Sea of Thought”?
Leo: godhood, prophecy, and omens?
Leo: As a materialist and scientist, I’m convinced that rational explanations exist for all of it
Charlotte: but there are mysteries beyond the pale, unanswerable questions, and ineffable truths which mankind can only dimly grasp from afar
Leo: that’s quitter talk
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Bodark: I can transform into werewolf
Leo: my car can transform into a dude
Maury: we saw possessed corpses whose sins were consumed by a buried evil
Leo: artificial animation of bodies via metabolic alternatives
Manny: I be a floating skull on fire!
Leo: I’ll get back to you
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Charlotte: I need your help
Jason: with what?
Charlotte: people who watch a cursed VHS tape have 7 days until a ghost comes to claim their souls. I intend to defeat the ghost.
Jason: uh, how can I help with that?
Charlotte: I need to find a VHS player
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Jason: I found a VHS player for Charlotte
Jason: I had to go to the one place she dared not go
Leo: where was that?
Jason: an adult video store
Kinetica: can Tyran really be that evil?
Harry: Tyran Toys, the entertainment division, started with the motto “affordable joy, guaranteed” before being acquired by Rex Tyran
Kinetica: that doesn’t sound so bad
Harry: it’s now “mandatory fun at any cost”
(This IQ falls between this and the following one)
Jason: I feel like an idiot.
Alycia: Were you?
Jason: I told Charlotte I had tracked down the VHS video cassette player she wanted. Records showed a player stored in the Quill tech archive. Sub-warehouse pod 47B, rotation 3.
Alycia: Wait, don’t tell me: it turned out to be Betamax.
Jason: Worse.
Alycia: You don’t mean …
Jason: Yup. QVid format. Only a half-dozen were ever sold.
Alycia: You know, it’s amazing your father ever stayed solvent.
Jason: On the bright side, it’s getting some great bids on eBay.
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Charlotte: we found a solution to the ghost problem
Charlotte: Maury taped over it with a Hallmark Christmas movie marathon
Ghost: (from the VHS tape in Charlotte’s bag) please… mercy…
Charlotte: you brought this on yourself
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