Shiny: is there ever a time you don’t have your nose buried in a book?
Mizzle: sometimes I bury my entire face
1 Like
Tiny: so you know how for humans, elves are these lithe, beautiful, superior people?
Whiny: like they’re just a better, cooler version of your folk?
Mizzle: uhh, maybe…?
Shiny: Graceful, wise, magical…
Tiny: and you write stories about the beautiful elf girl who falls in love with the shepherd boy…
Mizzle: uh, you guys are losing me here…
Shiny: anyway, that’s what ringtails are to us raccoons!
Tiny: (still musing) and under the moonlight their muzzles touch, and–
(Sara dumps a bucket of cold water over the Trimaldis)
1 Like
Sara: how would you describe Mizzle’s relationship to the Arcana?
Trimaldis: the bookish kid and the book, the bookie, and the rooks
1 Like
Sara: the Archmagus Reborn!
Mizzle: the evil techno-sorcerer who once ruled the world!
Trimaldis: bane of civilizations!
(The Archmagus’s cloak flies aside to reveal…)
Three Raccoons In A Wizard’s Robe: It was us all along!
1 Like
Mizzle: why is Whiny over there groaning?
Shiny: he tried combining our magitech ranged weapons with those magic pastries we learned about at the patisserie
Tiny: it didn’t work, so he got depressed and ate his gun
1 Like
(After the visit to the tailor)
Shiny: (singing) Clean shirt, new shoes / And I don’t know where I am goin’ to
Tiny: (singing) Silk suit, black tie / I don’t need a reason why
Whiny: (singing) They come runnin’ so they get here real soon
Trimaldis in chorus: 'Cause every ringtail crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed coon
1 Like
Saraid: I was thinking about getting a new outfit honestly
Mizzle: what would you get?
Saraid: I was thinking about a yellow tracksuit and some sensible shoes
1 Like
Saraid: I need to get more practice with the chucks
Shiny: woodchucks?
Saraid: nunchucks
Tiny: woodchuck nuns…?
1 Like
Saraid: did hitting enemies with a book really work?
Mizzle: you have to admit it’s a “novel” fighting style!
Trimaldis: hah!
Saraid: do not encourage this
1 Like
Mizzle: I’m saving up for a wagon or some other kinda vehicle so we can travel faster
Saraid: a wagon sounds good!
Trimaldis: we were thinking about a Ford Falcon XB GT Hardtop with a Weiand 6-71 supercharger and 351 cubic inches of displacement
Mizzle: (checking his wallet) I think it’s gonna be a wagon
2 Likes
Saraid: I’m still sad that Melody’s family didn’t want me around
Mizzle: I guess they didn’t think Melody should be around a cool older sister who lives a life of delinquency and rebellion
Saraid: that’s kind of you to say
1 Like
Host: I’m glad that you five accepted my dinner invitation
Saraid: Very gracious of you to offer it
Host: and you seem to have enjoyed every meal put before you
Mizzle: oh yes, it was all delicious
Host: and even though the dinner ended three days ago, you’re still at my table
Trimaldis: well, er, it really was excellent food–
Host: get out
1 Like
Mizzle: it’s Christmas time! How do you all celebrate it? On the Gallimaufry, we’d recommend books to each other
Saraid: I perform good deeds for strangers, without thought of reward, to put smiles on faces
Trimaldis: back home, we put up a tree next to the dumpster and let the kids root through it for gifts
1 Like
Shiny: so the only way we’ll get the information we need from the bartender is for someone to do a burlesque show in the saloon?
Tiny: who would be shameless enough to make such a spectacle of themselves?
Whiny: my time has come!
Saraid: (covers Mizzle’s eyes)
Mizzle: it’s nice to be traveling again! Seeing the sights, exploring the mysteries…
Shiny: there’s just something about the open road that calls to the soul
Tiny: we got told never to go back there ever again after Whiny’s performance
Whiny: I think it went well!
Saraid: I talked them down from a public execution
Whiny: see? Went well!
1 Like
Shiny: if we travel long enough, do you think we’ll see everything there is to see?
Whiny: hear everything there is to hear?
Tiny: smell everything there is to smell?
Shiny: I think we can skip that one, I’ve been downwind of some of the dumpsters you two have already visited
Tiny: some smells are an acquired taste
2 Likes
Mizzle: do you ever miss your family?
Saraid: sometimes. But I also have a wonderful second family, the people that I’m traveling with, the people who have helped my dream of bringing justice and happiness to the whole world
Mizzle: do you ever get frustrated with your family?
Saraid: oh god yes, sometimes I don’t know how I put up with even 10% of the nonsense
Melody: it’s too bad that Saraid had to leave before she got to meet our family’s pet raccoon
Alvin: it’s okay, I feel like she got your family’s goat
1 Like
The Dark Lord: what the FUCK is holding them up?
Beleaguered Witch: my lord, they’re having a comical interlude with the occupant of a church bell
The Dark Lord: this feels like it’s not going to end soon. Do you think I have time to finally take that vacation?
Beleaguered Witch: I’ll notify them of the location of the village of talking pangolin bards, I’m sure that’ll buy you at least 3 months
1 Like
(Underground, the heroes have found a lamp and rubbed it, causing a creature to emerge…)
Dun-Djinn: I am the Dun-Djinn! Thank you for freeing me! I can grant you three wishes
Shiny: there’s five of us. Is that three wishes each?
Tiny: if it’s three wishes total, two people are gonna lose out
Mizzle: I’m okay not wishing for stuff!
Saraid: are wishes for world peace too much?
Whiny: I was gonna wish for some snacks…
Dun-Djinn: listen, y’all may want the Costco Djinn, they grant off-brand wishes in bulk
1 Like