Incorrect Megalos Quotes

Games MEGALOS
21

Crew as Onion headlines:
Professor Magnus: Wise, Thoughtful Elder Won’t Put A Sock In It

Xeric: Man Reaches First Of Dozens Of Breaking Points To Come

Auoy: Enby Embraces Holiday Spirit By Telling Strangers They Don’t Speak To Their Family

Carabas: Sometimes I Feel Like I’m The Only One Who Gives A Shit About Rich, Lustrous Hair

Carabas: Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day

Seirus: I Love My Country - Aw, Who Am I Kidding? My Country Can Go Fuck Itself

Crew: Local Dumbasses Knew What They Were Getting Themselves Into and Did It Anyways

3 Likes
22

This one was so in character I had to give it the highest honor possible.

coffee
coffee1743×981 129 KB

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23

Carabas: I haven’t been an assassin in a long time
Xeric: prove it
Carabas: you know that obnoxious otter woman who accosts me every single day with small talk about her garden?
Xeric: Mrs. Glaswungle?
Carabas: is she still alive?
Xeric: yeah
Carabas: I rest my case

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24

Carabas: if I was drowning, would you throw me a rope?
Seirus: I’d have used up all the rope tying you to an anchor

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25

Xeric: are you a healer because you cherish life and want to end suffering?
Auoy: nope, blood is my hobby

1 Like
26

Seirus: I need life advice.
Carabas, stabbing a killer robot with his sword: You came to the wrong person.
Carabas, stabbing another killer robot with his sword: And your timing sucks.

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27

(Later)
Carabas (handing out care bundles at the local orphanage): Stupid archaic Loethia.

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28

I’M A FOOL! I missed the obvious joke

Auoy: You know archaic Loethia?
Seirus: Yeah I got bored with old Kilmerane.
A: You know Kilmerane?
S: Yeah someone from my underwater basket weaving club taught me.
A: YOU HAVE AN UNDERWATER BASKET WEAVING CLUB?
S: You don’t know everything about me Landdweller. Now, would you like a basket?

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29

Seirus: if I see any enemies, I’ll draw their attention and lure them into water
Xeric: that’s right, cause you’re our fish tank

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30

Xeric: gonna eat Thanksgiving dinner with us?
Carabas: yeah, sit down and get a plate
Auoy: I don’t remove my mask in the presence of strangers
Seirus: you know us!
Auoy: I do and you’re all very strange

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31

Carabas: this?
Auoy: turkey, extremely rare
Carabas: these?
Auoy: blood sausages
Carabas: those?
Auoy: blood berries
Carabas: maybe I’ll just have a cocktail
Auoy: I’ll mix a Bloody Mary
Carabas: fine, fine, I apologize for asking you to help cook

2 Likes
32

Xeric: I’m gonna kill that monster!
Seirus: you can’t
Xeric: where do you get off ordering me around? You’re not my mom and dad, I do what I want
Seirus: no, I mean, you literally can’t kill it, it’s one of the immortal Tash-Klarkon Inevitables
Xeric: oh
Xeric: can I stab it anyway?
Seirus: sure, go ahead

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33

Carabas: is that tuna I smell?
Seirus: it’s an obvious trap, don’t—
(Clang)
Carabas, being hauled off by Imperial soldiers: hey, I wasn’t finished with that!

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34

Imperial Warleader: soon, you lot will taste death!
Seirus: you’ll have to force feed it to us and that won’t be easy
Xeric: death will have a taste of me
Carabas: listen, I have a food allergy, can I get a substitute?
Auoy: I have death on my grocery delivery speed dial, good luck

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35

Xeric: Gwin thinks I’m hot
Carabas: she said you’re not cool, it’s not the same thing

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36

Seirus: I enjoy digging up interesting relics of the past
Auoy: I like putting Imperials in the ground
Seirus: the archaeologists of the future are grateful for your service

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37

Xeric: what happens if you dig up something totally worthless?
Seirus: I re-bury it with a note reading “whoever reads this has unleashed the Curse”

Auoy: do you know why I never heal you?
Xeric: it’s because the pain of my soul eclipses any suffering of the flesh
Auoy: it’s because you talk like that

Carabas: you guys overestimate my vices and flaws, I’m not as bad as all that
Seirus: the statue that was judging our souls reached you and said it had to call its manager

Carabas: tell me, what is the difference between the most beautiful gem in the world, and the merest dross of man’s fancies? What does it mean for something to be truly worthwhile?
Xeric: I don’t know?
Carabas: see this is why I don’t trust you to divvy up loot any more

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38

Carabas: what are you doing?
Auoy: it’s abstract art
Seirus: I don’t know if I follow the aesthetic
Xeric: yeah this seems pointless
(A bunch of exsanguinated soldiers fall over in a precise pattern)
Auoy: not a masterpiece, but I feel like I’m making progress!

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39

Seirus: this is the Mirror of Desire. It was made by the Chaos-Master, a notable wizard from the Entelenchic Era
Seirus: it will show you your deepest, darkest heart’s desire
Xeric: (staring) I see a skrunkly little gnome
Seirus: it started life as a fun-house mirror

Barry: I bet 250 libra I can drink you lot under the table
Carabas: you’re on
(later)
Barry: (from under the table) how… are you still… sitting…?
Carabas: I tied myself to the chair

Carabas: my phantasms are amazing - they can stretch out my influence across the battlefield
Seirus: and they don’t talk at all
Auoy: that is quite an amazing feature
Carabas: hey!

Xeric: I’m trying to cheer up Gwin after I messed up talking to her again
Xeric: what do you she’d like that I could get?
Auoy: lost

2 Likes
40

Captain Kavo: I am not one of your aarons! I am a Captain of the Empire!
The Professor: oh I know you’re not one of the aarons
Captain Kavo: then why did you dress me like one?
The Professor: we’re going on some… errands

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