Evan: I just ended a five year relationship
Student: oh god I’m sorry
Evan: don’t worry it wasn’t mine
2 Likes
Kiln: never have I ever… (peeks around suspiciously) broken a faerie’s moon-crystal just to annoy them.
Everyone:
Everyone:
Kiln: I might be bad at this game.
2 Likes
Joey: plan E is working great! E should stand for excellent!
Roddy: wasn’t this Alex’s plan?
Joey: I contributed some ideas
1 Like
Sync: I’ve got good news!
Alex: You got a 100 on your math test?
Sync:…
Sync: I said good news, not a miracle.
1 Like
Joey: well, they gave me a role in the school’s production of “Romeo and Juliet”. I’ll be very close to Juliet.
Roddy: you don’t seem very happy about this.
Joey: they cast me as the balcony.
1 Like
Roddy: Well … at least you’ll be on stage.
Joey: I’ll be part of the stage.
Roddy: Um … well, Jillian is cast as Juliet, so at least that will be fun, holding her up.
Joey: I guess you haven’t heard they’re doing it as a musical.
2 Likes
Mette: drinking hurts your liver, smoking hurts your lungs, eating these rich foods hurts your digestive system. Why do you Americans do this to your own bodies?
Alex: to establish dominance.
1 Like
Alex: you’re pretty good at these twitchy multiplayer shooters.
Roddy: (playing) yep.
Alex: don’t your powers mean this isn’t really a challenge?
Roddy: oh I play these to get ideas for banter and insults. If we fight a villain who has a mother, I’m prepared.
2 Likes
Joe: Vegie, extra-large
Mette: Nuggets. Wait, do they have pizza nuggets here?
Kiln: Open fire baked, venison, arugula.
Roddy: Mozzarella, sausage, garlic.
Alex: Um … yeah. I’ll go for the pepperoni-mozzarella Hot Pockets.
3 Likes
Mette: the villain has the two of us trapped. Any ideas?
Alex: Operation Kool-Aid Man
Alex: (loudly) oh no Mette is in danger from a bad guy
Joe: (tears through a nearby wall)
Alex: ooh yeah!
2 Likes
Teacher: today’s field trip is the Halcyon City Museum!
Roddy: oh, uh, I came down with a bad case of… (checks phone) aplastic anaemia
Teacher: that sounds serious
Roddy: yeah, every since yesterday I’ve had… (checks phone again, more googling) shortness of breath, high temperature, and fainting spells
Teacher: you should stay home
Rest of the team: 
Roddy: 
3 Likes
Joe: It costs $400 to see a therapist
Joe: But it’s free to tell yourself “it be like that sometimes”
Dr. Anton: What? No-
3 Likes
Kiln: I’m from a time thousands of years before yours
Alex: I’m sure Chris wouldn’t mind you being a little unfamiliar–
Kiln: but what of your rule, “half your age plus seven”?
2 Likes
Joey: (thinking) I can’t stop thinking about the most beautiful person in our class
Mette: (thinking) I can’t stop thinking about the most beautiful person in our class
Evan: (thinking) I can’t stop thinking about how I’m the most beautiful person in our class
2 Likes
Aliud: in fiction, robots may be bound by rules, such as Asimov’s three laws. Are human beings similarly bound?
Problem Child: nah. If you break a human rule, they just beat you down until you learn to stop doing that.
Aliud: would it be better if humans were programmed to know how to act?
Problem Child: that assumes the programmer knows the best way to act, don’t it
Aliud: that is a quandary
3 Likes
Roddy: Even in Halcyon we have a homeless problem.
Joey: I’ve traveled to some third world countries. That kinda poverty’s even worse there.
Mette: On the ship, there was more than enough work for everyone, and sufficient rations.
Kiln: In my day, beggars bore the ceremonial names, “Alton and Agatha.”
3 Likes
Roy: Man, I’m not sure about Joey being a hero. He’s got some dark secrets.
Hailey: I’m afraid all that internalized trauma may make him unstable.
Evan: He looks all cute on the outside, but it’s hardly surprising something more monstrous lurks within.
Alex: There’s more projection going on here than in the entire A/V Club.
3 Likes
This one is pure gold.
2 Likes
Kiln: Magitech comes from the past … its power is profound.
Joey: Magitech exists in the presence … its power is … transformative.
Mette: Magitech extends into the future … its power is … um … stellar.
Alex (facepalming): Look, if we’re going to sell this stuff on QVC, you people need to step up your game.
3 Likes