Joey: welcome to the Lonely Hearts Club. We’re a small support group for students who have trouble finding comfort in a relationship.
Aliud: hello all
Problem Child: hey
Seven-Year: yo
Joey: any new business?
Aliud: not from me
Seven-Year: some freshman witch started an alchemy club next door
Problem Child: she’s selling flight potions, haste potions, love potions–
(moment of silence as everyone looks at each other)
Joey: okay, money on the table
Aliud: I do not have currency
Problem Child: I got $200. Don’t ask from where.
Seven-Year: I’ve been saving this $50
3 Likes
Roddy: So, how is everyone doing, isolated at home in this world of COVID-19 and stay-at-home orders?
Joey: Climbing the walls. I just want to be OUT.
Mette: I lived in a 2x4m sub-engineer module, with ship-command curfews. This is, relatively speaking, paradise.
Kiln: The irony of this built-up world feeling like a trap is … well, stressful and depressing.
Alex: Wait. I’ve been running through the whole Steam catalog. Did I miss something?
3 Likes
Roddy, after the battle: Hey Kiln! It seems like you and museums have a… rocky relationship.
Kiln: …
Kiln: Get over here you little–
2 Likes
Poly-anna: you know what your problem is?
Joey: I’m a great ape, I’m hideous, I’m angry all the time, I’m–
Poly-anna: you didn’t preheat your solution. Watch the thermometer next time
Joey: oh
1 Like
Poly-anna: also, you’re not a great ape
Joey: uh yes I am, look at me
Poly-anna: you’re an okay ape at best
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Paul: so bad people go to hell when they die, I guess
Chris: I guess…?
Paul: I always knew I’d find myself here–
Teacher: Mr. Gray, this is a study period and you don’t have to be here if you don’t want
2 Likes
Roddy: what’s tonight’s obscure old movie?
Alex: 1951 horror classic, “Bride of the Gorilla”
Joey: (starts choking)
Alex: oh sorry, not ready for that kinda commitment with someone?
Joey: (starts choking Alex)
2 Likes
Hailey: here we are. You said you needed to talk to us about the worlds beyond?
Alex: yeah
Mette: what is this for?
Alex: I’m going to be running a Spelljammer game soon and want to get this right
1 Like
Alex: sometimes I want to feel muy macho
Alex: and sometimes I want to feel cute and wear pretty dresses
Alex: and sometimes I see this asshole and lose all interest in both
(cut to Evan in PE, wearing traditional Fae attire and doing fancy rapier fighting)
2 Likes
Alex: Whatcha doing?
Joey: Snapping pencils.
Alex: Becaaaauuuuuse?
Joey: I realized I snap pencils when I’m angry or frustrated. It’s like, y’know, a tell. So I thought I’d lean into that, so that people don’t think of me as a gorilla, they think of me as a pencil-snapper.
Alex: What if they start thinking of you as a pencil-snapping gorilla?
Joey: (Snaps pencil)
2 Likes
(the team is invited to visit the HHL building’s observation deck)
Joey: oh no, I’m not going out there
Mette: are you afraid of heights?
Joey: no, there’s just something about a gorilla and a beautiful girl on top of a tower that bothers me
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Kiln: I wish you luck getting your memory back
Mette: thanks
Mette: any memory in particular you are curious about?
Kiln: how to build a working time machine
1 Like
Roddy: hey thanks for the sparring practice! I felt like you were really trying to hit me!
Joey: I was
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Roddy: what powers you?
Alex: sass
Roddy: no, I mean your bionic limbs
Alex: sassoline
2 Likes
Nono: Do you watch QI? It’s this really cool British quiz show.
Joey: Um … no?
Nono: Here, see?
QI Twitter Feed: 
Joey: Goddammit.
Nono: Wait … uh … I didn’t … goddammit.
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Alex: …so anyway, that led me to this idea of a 6-way Autobot, with 3 male and 3 female Transformers, making a non-binary combiner. Or a combiner whose component robots were male, but whose combined identity was female. A “trans”-former, you know–
Roddy: I don’t know how we got here, but I just needed a male-to-male USB connector and thought you had one.
2 Likes
Mette: (proudly) I’m an oh-gee for life!
Teacher: (warily) original gangster?
Mette: ah, sorry, no. Zero gravity.
2 Likes
Alex: god dammit, I have to upgrade my wifi again
Joey: I’m surprised setting up a router would be hard for you
Alex: yours isn’t wired into the occipital lobe of your brain
Joey: No, but I always have to call Xfinity tech support
Alex: okay so we’re both risking brain damage with every upgrade
3 Likes