Kiln: I’ve got it! I’ve got a name for our team!
Alex: Let’s hear it. Anything is better than “The Awesome Surge Suppressors”
Kiln: The Super Outsiders !!!
Kiln: Cause, you know, we’re outsiders. And we’re super heroes. So, the Super Outsiders.
Alex: Alright then. The Awesome Surge Suppressors is looking pretty good.
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Joey: Okay. Fine. We’ll name the team in the language of my people: Ugh-urk-uhhh-urgh-ugh.
Roddy: Cool! Gorilla talk!
Joey: Huh?
Mette: What – what does it mean?
Joey: I dunno. It’s the sounds Dad used to make when Mom told him he had to make a decision he didn’t want to.
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Kiln: What about The Crimson Rebels
Kiln: Cause outsiders tend to be rebels. And we skipped class the other day. And the outfits Principle Hellbinder gave us are red.
Joey: If you honestly think I’m gonna wear that suit, think again. One-size-fits-all was not made for 800 pound gorilla size.
Kiln: What if we changed the color of the suits? … Then we could be the Rainbow Rebels !!!
Alex: Mi amigo, I am all for pride but unfortunately some people get all up in arms about that sort of thing.
Joey: Of course. What is better than a gorilla, but a Rainbow Gorilla.
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Kiln: I’ve really got it this time!
Joey: Dare I ask.
Kiln: The Crackerjacks !
Joey: What?!
Kiln: Alex said that we are kinda a jack-of-all-trades team. And Roddy always has a pack of crackers he eats during class. And someone was talking about how crackerjacks are really good and we want to do good so I figured we could be Crackerjacks.
Alex: The more you hero the more crime you stop?
(These are all based on names that came up from the name generator)
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Kiln: The Wonder Masters ?
Alex: It’ll be a wonder if we ever come up with a decent name.
Roddy: We always have the Awesome Surge Suppressors !
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Mette: If any of the temples take us out of time and space, we could be the Quantum Outsiders !
Alex: If that happens we’ll have bigger problems than our team name, which is actually encouraging. Let’s go break time and space everyone!
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Alex: And half of us are nuts.
Joey: (softly, glancing at Mette) Plus we have a prize inside.
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Kiln: Enigma Hunters?
Alex: Eh.
Kiln: The Nightmare Rebels?
Joey: These names are nightmares.
Kiln: The Renegades?
Alex: Synonym.
Kiln: The Anomalies?
Joey: Nope.
Kiln: The Fruitcakes?
Alex: Seriously! Where are you getting these?!
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Alex: Fine. Enough with the silly Internet meme generators. I’ve repurposed the mainframe at Langley, the quantum installation in Beijing, and the Colossus knock-off at Yasenevo. I’ve fed in all comic book history, super-group registries from all the G20 nations, and detailed personality profiles of the team. This will create the one, true, best name for our group.
Kiln: It’s like magic.
Mette: Crude technology, but the best available.
Joey: Well? WELL?
Alex: (Glancing at his phone) (Sighs) “The Awesome Outsiders”.
Roddy: NAILED IT!
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Alex: Fine. As a group name I choose the 616 Club.
Roddy: That seems … arbitrary.
Alex: It’s an alternative translation to Revelations 13 … the Number of the Beast.
Joey: Hey –
Kiln: The selection of proper numbers is a practice of the Slate Priests.
Roddy: Like an alt-666? Like The Omen? That is so cool!
Mette: Certain branches of transdimensional physics postulate 616 planes of existence.
Alex: Which make much more sense than fifty-two …
Joey: What’s all this “beast” stuff?
Mette: Though in a more rational duodecimal system, 616 is rendered 434. Or, vice-versa, 882 decimal from duodecimal.
Kiln: Or 4431 in the handbase of the Slate Priests. Perhaps that is a … meaningful date? The ascendance of a great ruler?
Joey: Wait, my Mom used to go on about the Number of the Beast. I thought that was –
Roddy: Slab of glass to the neck for the win!
Mette: What?!
Alex: I actually didn’t mean –
Joey: Fine. All right. You want this? YOU WANT THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST?!
Roddy: “Wrong? What could be wrong with our child, Robert?” I love that movie!
Kiln: There are children involved?
Mette: Abandoned. Thought of as beyond incorporation to the crew.
Kiln: Seeking redemption. Seeking to belong.
Alex: It was just a comic book –
Joey: I SPEAK FOR THE BEASTS! LET THEM HOWL!
Roddy: Cue creepy choir singing in Latin!
Kiln: And we shall heat bars of iron, and let the scars of that blaze bring us together under the Number of …
Alex: And you expect me to actually type a report of how this all went so horribly wrong?
Mette: The CrewComm will be merciful. To unlock a code sequence to the Great Mission grants you many cafcredits.
Joey: Man, I hate math.
Roddy: Glad to tutor you, best bud!
Kiln: Wait. In this time-space, perhaps binary would be best.
Mette: 1001101000
Alex: IT’S BEAUTIFUL …
Hellbinder: (Turning from monitor) I’m getting too old for this shit.
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Alex: I put together a jungle exploration costume. I thought I should pick an alias in case we get arrested.
Alex: I will be known as Robin. Robin Toomes.
Joey: they will arrest you anyway just for making that joke.
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SURGE: are you sure those five are ready to travel internationally and face danger?
Hellbinder: hmm, not really
SURGE: then why approve their club’s plans?
Hellbinder: do you have any idea how great it’ll be to have them gone for days at a time?
SURGE: plan computed as logical
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Sergeant Surge: Ms. Aris, “able to generate diegetic eye sparkles when I wink” is not a superpower.
Jillian: Well it should be! I spent three weeks trying to get that right!
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