Nono: anyway I bet you’re wondering why I’m not talking about breaking up the Emma/Nono ship and I gotta say, it’s just too solidly canon to interfere with
Nono: but okay, hypothetically. What do you think? Nono and Jason, John, Alex, or Alycia?
Invading General: Hmm, I have to say as a long-time reader, I think Nono/Jason is thoroughly explored, and Nono/Alycia might be too similar. But what about Emma in that case?
Alycia: (picking locks on her handcuffs) I cannot believe this distraction is working
(that’s the end of the Nono MIA Shipping Saga, but by no means the end of Nono’s shipping)
Glom: (inside force bubble, singing) nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen, nobody knows but Jesus
Mirage: as part of my routine surveillance, I also know which troubles you have seen.
Veneer: (inside force bubble) We have a sick woman in here!
Mirage: what seems to be the problem?
Veneer: I’m sick of being cooped up in here, you fucking flashlight
Motormouth: anyone out there?
Motormouth: they dropped me into the deepest pit and poured concrete over me
Motormouth: there’s no technology within a mile
Motormouth: god it’s boring down here
Beaver Boy: (tunneling) hellooooo there!
Motormouth: I’m sorry I’ll turn over a new leaf I’ll stop being a villain get me outta here
Nono: …so then I thought, wait, if we were a whole polycule of secret agents, JANEshipping would be perfect. J, J, A, A, N, and E! Balanced as all ships should be. Anyway, what do you think? Does it need more masculine energy?
The President: listen, I’m trying to give you six an award here
Emma: once you put a dime in this jukebox, you’re gonna hear the whole song
Aria: how did it go?
Jordan: uhhhh I fed them formula and kept them entertained and they’re asleep now
Fez: z_z
Jordan: say, what formula do you feed a holographic baby?
Aria:
Charlotte: There is so much evil in the world that must be dealt with
The Archetype: Godhood would let you do that
Charlotte: and I want to rearrange the tables in Half & Half when I return
The Archetype: Godhood would permit you that power
Charlotte: maybe sit down and make a cup of coffee for myself
The Archetype: Godhood–
Charlotte: WOULD YOU STOP THAT
Charlotte: why does the universe keep pushing me toward godhood anyway?
Bodark: universe is lazy. People want other people to solve their problems. Easier to pray than to act.
Charlotte: and what about you? If I were a god, what would you pray for?
Bodark: more vodka in storage room
Jaycee: okay we’ll settle this once and for all. Eddison or Newman, only one of you gets the name “Big Bill”
Bill Newman: my vehicle shell is a full-sized Boeing 747. I reckon that’s pretty big!
(William Eddison takes off his shirt, revealing a ripped chest and bulging biceps)
Jaycee: Eddison wins
Maury: what’s the most important thing to remember as a pirate?
Manny: drink rum responsibly
Maury: what does “responsibly” mean here?
Manny: remember the next lad in line to drink rum has a dagger and stands behind ye
Maury: what’s your biggest challenge as a werewolf?
Bodark: every four weeks or so, the change
Maury: you mean the cycle of the full moon that compels you to become a monster?
Bodark: I mean Charlotte makes me change month on the calendar in the coffee shop. Very high on wall, very hard to reach for short man like me.
Jason: you renamed my house to “Q-Base?”
Harry: yep!
Jason: and you launched it into Earth orbit?
Fuko: that is correct
Jason: did you make sure to safeguard the most important stuff?
Trace: oh sure, the hypertech warehouse is all accounted for
Jason: I mean my 16 volumes of Top-Heavy Catgirl Flying Aces vs. the Global Crime Conspiracy! With both art books! Signed!
Mirage: I personally fired those out of the airlock
Jason: we need to acquire a rocket and blast off immediately. This is time sensitive. I’ll even share half the spoils with you. But we can’t let Alycia find out.
John: why? Would you get in trouble with her?
Jason: it would be a total disaster for me
John: I’m in
Mo: found this personal ad online
Big Bill: (reading) Motormouth seeks mechanically inclined man of few words, excitement guaranteed if you can dig it
Big Bill: sounds perfect for you. Gonna meet her?
Mo: sure
(Underground, buried in cement)
Motormouth: this is a long shot but it’s all I got
Nono: finally I’ve obtained all six Cosmic Crystals!
Nono: mounted in this gauntlet, they’ll let me achieve my ultimate goal…
Nono: PAIR UP ALL SINGLE ENTITIES IN THE UNIVERSE (Snap!)
(After five years, time travel, and a planet’s worth of Dear John letters…)
Adam: everyone who was paired up is single again
Charlotte: it’s for the best, you can’t just force these things
Harry: thank God Leo and I were already spoken for, so we could rescue the rest of you
Jason: and Alycia and me!
Alycia: you’re lucky I only found out about your secret stash after the crisis
Summer: at least we can relax now, the danger has passed
Nono: (weakly) I’ve still got ships… written for all of you… even the paired up heroes… for example, Leo and Alex–
Aria: (breaks the gauntlet)
Manny: I be the comrade to someone special, yet I also be me own person
Manny: though their star outshines mine own, I am yet content
Manny: they respect me for meself, and attend to my wants when I give them voice
Manny: ultimately, I be happy enough to follow, knowing that I walk not behind them but beside them
Space Bug: I understand, comprehend, sympathize!
Glom: hey boss can I bounce some ideas off ya?
Glom: we’re in a sticky situation
Glom: and while it’s important we adhere to our principles
Glom: there’s always times when the rubber meets the road
Gnosis: I am this close to turning you over to the authorities myself
The Hand: for my next trick–
Heckler: your only trick was getting us to pay money for this show!
(The Hand gestures at D-SOL-8, who opens fire)
The Hand: --I’m going to make a member of the audience disappear
Veneer: you know, I’m not naturally this stylish. It took hard work and dedication. I’ve transformed myself into a charming, mysterious femme fatale
Motormouth: why go to all that effort?
Veneer: people who only saw my powers assumed I was a flat character
