Mizzle: what do you want for breakfast? Bacon and eggs, or cereal and toast?
Saraid: I’m waffling
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Shiny: do you remember food delivery in Trishenko?
Tiny: oh yeah, you could put in a call and get something delivered right to your house
Whiny: it was a dumpster on wheels, guys, don’t dress it up too much
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Shiny: what do you guys want to do once we reach Rozinande and New Thule?
Tiny: visit the folks who migrated there from Trishenko!
Whiny: I was thinking of opening a fried chicken place for the locals
Shiny: “three wings for the elven kings under the sky…”
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Prisma: I can become a tree!
Acorn Pixie: not a real tree
Prisma: I can turn into a fluffy cloud!
Acorn Pixie: better, but that’s still not the real thing
Prisma: I can turn into the fanciest, prettiest hat you ever saw
Acorn Pixie: you’re my hero
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Saraid: what’s that pile of clothing over there?
Trimaldis: Mizzle is trying on oversized clothes in the faint hope of an eventual growth spurt
Saraid: so the pile of clothes are what he’s planning to try on?
Trimaldis: that’s Mizzle
Mizzle: (from inside pile) I might need a size smaller
SHINY: We can help!
SARAID: With what?
TINY: Finding new clothes for Mizzle. Look what we found!
SARAID: Ew! Where did you find those?
WHINY: Dumpster out back of –
SHINY: (interrupting) Ask us no questions, we’ll tell you no lies.
TINY: It’s amazing what people throw away these days!
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Trimaldis: no fair!
Saraid: what’s not fair?
Trimaldis: we tried to visit a local bar and were denied permission to enter
Saraid: that does seem unfair
Trimaldis: maybe it’s nonhuman prejudice. Next time we’ll bring Mizzle—
Saraid: denied
Saraid: what’s your favorite game to play?
Mizzle: from back home? “Pin the citation on the author”.
Saraid: that sounds a little dry. What about most kids your age?
Mizzle: “guess the Dewey Decimal number from the title” was pretty popular
Saraid: no running, jumping, that sort of thing?
Mizzle: oh, you mean “Who Can Reach The Top Shelves”?
Saraid: I fear for your people
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Acorn Pixie: welcome to the Sidekicks Society meeting. Welcome our new members, Prisma and Zenit Eyes
Prisma: hi!
Zenit Eyes: are there membership dues? Can I collect them?
Acorn Pixie: we’re here to talk about the sidekick imbalance problem in the party
Neko Monarch: Mizzle has seven companions, Saraid now has one, and the Trimaldis have none
Prisma: I thought Tiny and Whiny were Shiny’s sidekicks?
Zenit Eyes: I thought all three of them were Saraid’s sidekicks
Acorn Pixie: I thought this was going to be a short meeting
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Drewid: I’m not a regular Druid. I use pencil sketches to keep the Dancing Forest healthy
Drewid: it’s a very mysterious art
——
Drewid: I’m technically the leader of my branch of druidry
Drewid: (holding up a pencil) and this is my #2
——
Drewid: I used to be a painter before taking up this life
Mizzle: what happened?
Drewid: a brush with death
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Acorn Pixie: (wearing a tiny military uniform with way too many medals, and a comically oversized general’s hat) Listen up! I am the commander of the Mizilitary!
Acorn Pixie: I am in command of all companions, pets, summons, and other associates in this party!
Acorn Pixie: dissension in the ranks will lead to censure and exile!
Acorn Pixie: my word is law! You will all bow down before my authority!
Mizzle: (walking by) why are you talking to your reflection in a mirror?
Acorn Pixie: (burning red in embarrassment) no reason
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The Dark Lord: how go the preparations for my floating continent? Are the anti-air weapons ready to repel their airship?
Beleaguered Witch: my lord, their air transportation is a shapechanging dragon
The Dark Lord: are
The Dark Lord: are you serious
Beleaguered Witch: they befriended it!
The Dark Lord: okay, fine, all is not lost, we can—
Beleaguered Witch: it’s already had heartwarming exchanges with other party mascots
The Dark Lord: OH MY FUCKING GOD
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(The “Love American Style” theme music plays)
Saraid: I love acorn pizza
Mizzle: I love books and reading
Shiny: I love being a hero!
Tiny: I love maintenance periods on the armor
Whiny: I love… give me a second…
Shiny: surely there’s something
Whiny: I love boiling coffee on the magitech power core?
Tiny: there ya go!
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The Dark Lord: I really don’t know if I’m cut out for this party
The Dark Lord: I’ve got grim curses and dark fates and attacks where the hero’s love interest performs a painful sacrifice…
Beleaguered Witch: uh, my lord…
The Dark Lord: these people are just so saccharine and light-hearted, none of my tactics are going to be genre-appropriate
Beleaguered Witch: I just wanted to say…
The Dark Lord: what the hell can I do against this kind of PG-rated adventure?
Beleaguered Witch: I’ve had these feelings for you for a long time…
The Dark Lord:
The Dark Lord: IT’S CONTAGIOUS
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Mizzle: (singing) I love to read-a
Mizzle: About the moon-a and a rune and brave-a deed-a
Mizzle: I love to read-a
Mizzle: ‘bout a kingdom old or a battle bold
Mizzle: anything that can educate or elucidate
Mizzle: I love-a to, I love-a to read!
Tiny: we’ve faced many foes and gone on many adventures
Tiny: and the one thing that’s allowed us to survive so much danger is–
Acorn Pixie: my healing magic
Tiny: I was going to say camaraderie but you’re not wrong
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Saraid: recently I’ve been experimenting with releasing my inner strength
Saraid: call it breath mastery or spirit cultivation or whatever, but it’s real!
(Saraid splits a heavy rock in two)
Shiny: I see you’ve become…. Boulder!
Saraid: it works on people too
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Zenit Eyes: Mizzle kidnapped me!
Saraid: MIZZLE—
Zenit Eyes: he was whisking me away to some strange foreign land!
Mizzle: I was just reading a story aloud and said “you’ll feel like you are really there!”
Saraid: I see
Zenit Eyes: does this mean I won’t be paid my ransom?
Shiny: we’re trying to figure out if we want one pet for each of us, or one pet total
Saraid: what are the pros and cons?
Tiny: one total means less work, fewer messes to clean up, etc.
Whiny: one for each of us would mean I don’t have to share with those two
Gallimaufry Librarian; welcome back! We missed you—
Mizzle: Moon’s haunted
Librarian: what?
Mizzle: (packing snacks, games, and other tools of friendship into a bag, and reboarding Prisma) Moon’s haunted
1 Like