Xeric: Look, I’d consider myself a realist, alright, but in philosophical terms, I’m what’s called a pessimist.
Carabas: Okay, what’s that mean?
Xeric: It means I’m bad at parties.
Carabas: You aren’t great outside of parties either.
2 Likes
Xeric: stabbing that prisoner and hearing his cries of pain was hilarious
Carabas: you take joy from stabbing prisoners?
Xeric: no, but this time I taped a harmonica to his mouth first
2 Likes
Barry: You tricked me!
Carabas: I deceived you. “Trick” makes it sound like we have a friendly relationship.
2 Likes
Auoy: Violence isn’t the answer.
Xeric: You’re right.
Auoy: *sighs in relief *
Xeric: Violence is the question.
Auoy: What?
Xeric, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Auoy, running after him: NO-
2 Likes
Seirus: Are you mad?
Xeric: No
Seirus: So sharpening all the kitchen knives at 2 am is a hobby then?
1 Like
My only complaint here is that I feel Auoy would agree violence is the answer, and to questions that haven’t even been asked yet
1 Like
Xeric: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anybody crash at your place.
Auoy: You people already know too much about me.
Seirus: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
2 Likes
Kavo: Why does Aeryn always do the laundry so loudly?
Miss Pendleton: So everyone knows that no one helps him out in the house.
Aeryn, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut *
2 Likes
Seirus: Miss Pendleton won’t be able to trace this back to us.
Gwin: Are you for real? She traces everything back to us! She traces things we haven’t even done yet back to us!
1 Like
Carabas: I wonder how I’m introduced in stories…
Seirus: “And then there was this asshole.”
1 Like
Seirus: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do?
Auoy: Oh… I’d mildly trouble everyone.
A: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw.
A: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working.
A: I’d make every wing on girls’ eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one.
A: And I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together.
A: And then lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag.
Crew:
Xeric: Remind me to never allow you to have power.
2 Likes
Carabas: Can whoever is singing Taylor Swift’s “Haunted” in the basement this loudly at 2am learn to hit the notes? I don’t care about the noise, but girl, you ain’t doing this song justice.
(It’s Xeric)
2 Likes
Xeric: How does one turn off their emotions?
Auoy: Okay first you go to settings…
Auoy: …I’m an idiot, sorry, I thought you said emojis.
Xeric, phone out: No, no, I’m willing to try this. Go on. I’m at settings. What’s next?
2 Likes
Carabas: I dare you -
Auoy: Xeric isn’t allowed to accept dares anymore.
Seirus: Why not?
Xeric: Apparently I have “no regard for my own or others personal safety,” as some would say.
Xeric: And Auoy said they’d stop healing me.
2 Likes
Jokes on all of you, that’s why I had Xeric buy self-healing talents
2 Likes
Gwin: I gave you… my best tupperware… and you stored human intestines in it?!
Auoy: uhhhh… yes?
Gwin: How could you?! That’ll stain the plastic!
2 Likes
Gwin: Alright, let’s play a game… truth or dare?
Xeric: Okay, truth.
Gwin: How many hours have you slept this week?
Xeric:
Xeric: Dare.
Gwin: Go to bed.
Xeric: I don’t like this game.
1 Like
Miss Pendleton: I’m heading to town, try not to cause a mess in five minutes. Can you handle that?
Seirus: Well, our record in four, but I think we can manage.
1 Like
Carabas: your life is a lot less exciting and dramatic than you make it out to be
Xeric: what are you talking about?
Carabas: for starters, using coupons at the grocery store is not a “redemption arc”
2 Likes
Auoy: You remind me of someone who ate bugs as a child.
Xeric: What an oddly specific-
Auoy: I’m right, aren’t I?
Xeric: *Suspicious silence *
1 Like