Seirus: Won’t worry, I’ve done this plenty of times. 9 times out of 10, no problem.
Carabas: What happens the 10th time?
Seirus: Problem.
2 Likes
Aaron: Aeryn is no longer allowed to take out the trash at night.
Erin: Why?
Aaron: Because this is the fifth night in a row that I’ve caught them trying to train raccoons to fight.
Aeryn, crossing his arms and pouting: You’ll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your asses.
2 Likes
Seirus: Do you have any moral compass?
Carabas: I pawned it for cash
1 Like
Kavo: I’m literally just standing here and people tell me I look angry and tired. What the fuck.
Aaron: You sound angry.
Erin: I bet because he’s tired.
Kavo: Hate you. Hate you both.
2 Likes
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Auoy: pulls out 7 pristine, glossy-white human skulls, sets them down reverently. Take your pick.
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Seirus: pulls out 7 skulls: 4 human, 3 distinctly not in increasingly disturbing shapes. Looks back in his bag. Shrugs. Pulls out an 8th. Human-ish okay?
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Xeric: pulls out 7 human skulls in various states of disrepair, slams them on the table one at a time. Glowers, daring the Professor to say anything.
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Carabas: pulls out 7 human skulls, with the facial skin still perfectly preserved on their front. Later verification of identity is important. But these have all been paid out. Oh, wait, except her. Drats. Puts one back in his bag.
2 Likes
Carabas: You’ll never be sure if you’re still finding the body or not.
2 Likes
Auoy: No, violence is not the answer. But it is a part of this nutritious breakfast!
2 Likes
Carabas: Perking up. A challenge!
1 Like
Alvin: From outside Ready for some more trash, li’l dude!
2 Likes
Kavo: we may be allies of the moment, but I can’t imagine an alternative to Imperial rulers
The Professor: metric rulers, obviously!
3 Likes
Auoy: why do you tell such obvious falsehoods?
Carabas: every cat has only nine lies
1 Like
Seirus: we will be asking our captives some tough questions
Xeric: like the capitals of the 50 states? I can never remember those
1 Like
Seirus: what’s the most petty thing you ever did?
Carabas: I promised Xeric if he didn’t stop brooding, I’d randomly put hairballs in his boots for the next three months
Seirus: did he get you back?
Carabas: in a sense. He wore those boots for three months and just took them off the other day upwind of me
2 Likes
Seirus: I want to celebrate our recent treasure acquisition, but I don’t want to get too drunk. What should we order at the tavern?
Carabas: Loot Beer
1 Like
Seirus: And you’ll probably be giving us shit about how much of the treasure you got for us. So what will you be drinking?
Carabas: Sass-parilla, obviously.
2 Likes
(Mounted Imperial cavalry surround the team)
Carabas: I always knew betting on the horses would come back to bite me
1 Like
Xeric: danger is our business
Carabas: correction. Archaeology is our business. Danger is our hobby
2 Likes
Carabas: I’m sorry I hurt your “feelings”
Gwen: I would take that more seriously if you didn’t put “feelings” in air quotes
1 Like
2 Likes
Auoy: so much for the adventurer cafe idea
Seirus: what happened?
Auoy: I told Xeric to punch loyalty cards for customers and he did not understand what that meant
1 Like