Auoy: just because I use liquefaction for fast transportation does not mean you can call it a–
Carabas: “blood drive”
Auoy: stop saying that
2 Likes
Carabas: you should solve problems with elegance, poise, and charm!
Xeric: elle-guns?
Auoy: poison?
Seirus: harm?
Carabas: I’m a stranger in a strange land
2 Likes
Gwin: it’s okay to talk now, I won’t get upset no matter what you say
Xeric: well I was just thinking—
Gwin: as long as you don’t tell me such an obvious lie
2 Likes
Carabas: my wits and blades are equally sharp, making me…
Seirus: oh god he’s doing it again
Carabas: … a sassin’ assassin!
Seirus: Auoy get in here and stop him please
2 Likes
Carabas: It was difficult, but we managed to keep Xeric completely safe.
Gwin: He’s covered in blood! [Hits him with her duffel bag]
Carabas: All from the enemies we –
Gwin: It’s still pumping from his gaping wounds! [Hits him again]
Xeric: Ha! I told you, cat, she’d never –
Gwin: Shut up, you’re next!
2 Likes
Xeric: [Showing up behind them] Hey, guys, whazzup?
Mist Miners: GAH!
Carabas: [Slipping out of the shadows] Lovely evening, isn’t it?
Mist Miners: GAH!!
Seirus: [Walking up in his twisted hypermuscular form] Nice to meetcha.
Mist Miners: GAAAHHHH!!!
Auoy: [Breaking the fourth wall] And they call me the scary one.
2 Likes
Geokinetic Lancaster: you know you’re cut out for a job like mine when your name literally sounds like “land-caster”.
Ensign Timothy Expendable: tell me about it, sir
2 Likes
Auoy: they say “if it bleeds, it leads” and I’m about to give all of these guys a promotion
Carabas: … that was very weird but also kind of scary. Points for effort, but keep working on your battle taunts.
1 Like
Auoy: I’m working on battle taunts. What’s your secret to instantly getting every enemy’s attention?
Seirus: I just yell “Y’ ymg’ kadishtu ahmgr’luh mgepyar”. The Ancient Tongue is heard deeply in the enemy’s subconscious and they realize the danger I represent.
Auoy: what does that mean?
Seirus: “I’ve seen your browser history”
1 Like
Gwin: If anything happened to Xeric I don’t know what I’d do with myself
Carabas: losing friends is always difficult, yes, but I think…
Gwin: (reaching for knives) I know exactly what I’d do with all of you though
Carabas: we’ll look after him, on my honor
2 Likes
Seirus: today so far I’ve been attacked by 473 Imperial soldiers, 22 aerial troopers, 5 casters, 2 cyborg commanders, and a particularly vicious alpaca
Auoy: any regrets about being the party tank?
Seirus: (paying the check) that I have to keep feeding you expensive rare steak if I want healing
2 Likes
Xeric: I am shadow. I am night. I am darkness.
Seirus: so you’re saying you’re not very bright
Xeric: yeah–hey!
1 Like
(Carabas and Auoy are tied up over a pit of lava as angry local clansmen look on)
Auoy: you said let you do the talking and I did. Now we’re about to die.
Carabas: so I didn’t do so well earlier, fine. But now I’m just getting warmed up!
Auoy: (glancing down) that is the problem
1 Like
Seirus: who do you think the final boss will be?
Carabas: and what deep connection will they have to one or more of us?
Auoy: and what diabolical plot will they unleash?
Xeric: and will they pay better and offer more benefits than our current boss?
2 Likes
Pyrocaster Azure: you can’t hope to challenge my powers
Xeric: I will defeat you with vengeance, determination, and these guns I found
2 Likes
Auoy: All my bleeding is intentional.
Seirus: Same! The enemies have all been very intentional in their attacks!
Blood Elder: … My bleeding has been somewhat intentional…
2 Likes
Seirus: I often envy the special quality you possess and I can never share
Carabas: charm? good looks? eloquence?
Seirus: being uninjured
2 Likes
Xeric: we did it, we beat an elemental dragon
Auoy: we almost died but I kept us alive
Carabas: I kept the enemies on their toes and off balance
Seirus: if I ever so much as see a spark of electricity again I’m gonna lose it stg
1 Like